


The Bad Penny

by Indehed



Series: Vice [3]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Alternate Universe - Prostitution, Extremely Dubious Consent, M/M, Rape Aftermath, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Undercover As Prostitute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2016-01-01
Packaged: 2018-05-06 23:03:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 31,204
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5434127
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Indehed/pseuds/Indehed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The US Marshals want Danny's help to capture an at-large Frank Delano and give him no choice but to take part in the sting operation - without Five-0's (or Steve's) knowledge. When it all goes wrong, it's Danny, once again, who suffers the consequences. He's going to need Steve more than ever to help cope with the fallout, but perhaps leaving Hawaii alone might be for the best...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My thanks to LandonRichardson for giving it the once over and for her always positive cheerleading. She's the person who gives me kudos and comments almost every day without any restrictions on how many you can leave and I'm very grateful for that as it keeps the momentum going, even when I'm losing faith in the show itself.  
> Once this fic is finished I promise to head back into the land of my season 6 fix-it (as well as finishing my big bang fic) and then back to my other WiPs. Real life permitting.
> 
> Warning!  
> Danger Will Robinson!  
> It's in the tags but be aware that, as with Golden Palace, there is graphic non-consensual sex in chapter 2. After that we're into recovery so you just need to get past that. If it makes you squeamish and you need to skip, read through chapter 2 until you can't go any further and skip to the beginning of 3 and you'll be fine from there. It's not as in-your-face gross as Golden Palace was. Delano isn't as picky or creative!
> 
> p.s. the happy ending I've been asked for WILL happen, just maybe not in the way other authors write that kind of thing in this fandom. I'm trying to do it a little out of the box...

"We don't know where he is. But we know something of his movements, so we know where he'll be."

"That's great," Danny replied. "So go get him and maybe Steve will be able to sleep at night."

"It's not as simple as all that," the stranger in the room said. Marshal Alexander, according to his badge and the Governor's introduction. 

"It never is," Danny relaxed back into his seat in resignation, unsure what was coming next but not looking forward to it. 

The Governor took over again. "It seems the Marshal's office has been working on a sting operation to capture Frank Delano. They may have overstepped their bounds," he said pointedly to the Marshal in question.

"May have?" Danny asked, incredulous. "Let's not dance around the subject, we all know you've somehow managed to drop me in this. Or Five-0. But considering how Steve's not been invited to this meeting, I can only assume it's just about me. So get on with it."

"You've heard of the Bagosa family."

Danny nodded. "Albert Bagosa, sure. One of the most wanted crime heads in the country. What about him?"

"He has his fingers in some dirty dealings here on Oahu. A part of that is an underground poker ring run by a local drug dealer called Delgado. It's very exclusive. Very expensive. And non-conventional. Sure, they play for cash, but when the stakes get too high even for that, other valuables are used for payment instead… including..."

"People." Danny said, knowing where this was going considering Delano's history. And his own. "Hookers?"

"Sure. But also hit men, hackers, any human commodity a crime syndicate or cartel could make use of. And sometimes slaves. Or anyone with a price on their heads. They use the game to sell the person back to the family he or she wronged."

"But in my case, we mean hooker."

"No," the Marshal responded. "We put information out there that you would be at the next game. Like I said, people use the game to sell back anyone wanted by other families. Your name is known and people know Delano wants you back."

"So we're actually going to be saying that someone caught a cop and wants to sell 'em? Delano knows how difficult it would be to catch me not least considering who's at my back."

"Our chatter says he wants you too much to care how someone caught you, only that they did. And he doesn't know to expect anything to happen at the game. Sure, we know he attends these things, but he doesn't know we know. Nor does he know that we know the games exist in the first place."

"Ah. One of those situations," Danny rolled his eyes, getting his head around who knows what. 

Alexander continued, "We just need to make sure he's at this next one and we can grab him. And from what we know of Frank Delano, he seems pretty set on revenge against you. He's not likely to pass up the chance."

"I'm not entirely sure I'd call it revenge," Danny raised his eyes.

The Governor finally spoke up again. "Look, Williams, we all know how difficult things have been these last two months since Delano escaped from prison. We're all well aware of how McGarrett has been in that time. Don't you want to put an end to the whole thing? This is your chance to do it."

Danny weighed it up. The Governor had a point, and Danny had fielded numerous complaints from HPD precinct chiefs over Steve's behavior and had promised he'd do what he could to rein him in. He, too, was very keen to see Delano back behind bars and, truth be told. he'd always had that gut feeling that he was going to be involved no matter what. 

It would be nice if the good guys were in control over how much involvement that was, as opposed to the bad guys. Steve had often pointed out that worst case scenario as to why he was being overly protective at times - doing his best to make sure Delano didn't come near, didn't think he could somehow try and kidnap Danny out from under Steve's nose. Reyes had done that. Steve seemed unable to recover from it or put it into any kind of perspective despite Danny not blaming him for it.

But Steve was just that kind of person, and every time Danny woke from a nightmare, Steve's eyes shone with guilt, shouldering responsibility. But Danny had been around the block, he'd done plenty of things in his years working undercover for Vice. Sure, being kidnapped and taken to Colombia and then taken again in Hawaii and forced to perform sex acts on the Reyes cousins was the worst, but it wasn't the only thing he'd ever had to do for a greater good.

He had hoped to never have to set foot into that world again and his gut instinct was screaming 'no' over and over. It sounded an awful lot like Steve, which didn't help. Steve would think it was a terrible idea.

"Steve won't like it," Danny voiced, repeating his thoughts out loud.

The Governor shuffled uncomfortably, but the Marshal showed no reaction. It was the response of a man who had never met Steve McGarrett.

"No one is to be made aware of this operation," Marshal Alexander said with a fixed smile. "That includes your boyfriend."

Danny bit his tongue at the boyfriend comment. He frowned instead. "I'm sorry, I thought you said you'd already told a bunch of criminals I was going to be there. Don't you think that's the kind of information that gets about, including the small distance it would take to get to Five-0? Not to mention that Delano isn't stupid. He'd check up on those rumors and if Five-0 isn't acting like I've been taken, he won't believe them."

"Williams has a point," the Governor said.

"Exactly," Alexander agreed. "Which is why Five-0 is to believe you've been captured, just as much as the criminals."

"You want me to lie to Steve? To hide this from him?"

"As of now, you won't be going back to Five-0. The Operation has already started, even without your knowledge. Which means the Marshal's office has put in place an accident to involve your car and clues to lead Five-0 in a different direction. It's in their best interests to be kept out of the loop. Interference from McGarrett is too high an unknown and could throw off all our carefully laid planning."

"This is Steve we're talking about," Danny stood, angry, and face the Governor. "You signed off on this? You know what Steve's like. He won't accept any of this."

"I have spent the last few days in meetings with the Marshal's office. They've looked for alternatives and they've carefully considered the impact of this on you, on Steve and on Five-0. I agree with them that if they can keep McGarrett occupied and allow you to do your job, there's a better chance of this working. You can get Delano back behind bars safely."

"Steve won't see it that way," Danny said, a hint of pleading in his voice. He knew Steve too well, he knew how this could hurt all of them. And to put it bluntly, he just wasn't comfortable working without him, regardless of their personal relationship.

"Well, you're forgetting one important thing," Danny said. "You need me. You need my cooperation. I'm not military, I also don't work for the Marshal service so you can't order me to do anything and without Five-0 in on this, I refuse," there was a moment of quiet and Danny took it as him winning and began to walking towards the door.

"I wouldn't do that, Detective," Alexander warned him before his hand could touch the door handle.

"And why is that?"

"I really didn't want to do this, want to worry you," Alexander said feigning empathy and it came off smarmy. Danny really didn't like the guy, he just gave off a vibe. "Your daughter. The longer this takes, the longer Delano is out and looking for a way to get to you, the more danger your daughter is in."

"You…. are you threatening me? My daughter?" Danny asked, almost unable to speak with rage at how callously and how easily Alexander was holding Grace as leverage. 

"No one is doing that, Detective Williams," the Governor put in, hoping to defuse the situation. 

"We have intel that suggests Delano's next move might be to involve her," Alexander told him. "This is your way to make sure she's safe."

Danny wiped his face and turned away from the two men in the room while he composed himself. His fingers itched to grab the gun on his waist but he couldn't go there, instead he put his hand on his waistband. 

"How long is this going to take?" he asked, resigned to the corner he'd just been boxed into. 

"The poker game is tomorrow afternoon. You can be at home with your fiancé and your daughter tomorrow night, safe in the knowledge that Frank Delano will be back behind bars."

"Fine," Danny agreed, refusing to shake hands but agreeing nonetheless.


	2. Chapter 2

Danny had not been made aware of whatever the Marshals had done or what they'd told Five-0. He didn't know what Steve and the others were going through and it tore at his insides, not just at the upset but that he was lying to them. 

He may not have been given much of a choice, and he certainly would tell them if he could, but he couldn't. He had to give up his phone and wallet and everything else he was carrying to the Marshals.

He been taken to a run down motel that didn't ask questions and it wasn't in a neighborhood that anyone would know him or that they knew Delano frequented. The room was dingy, it had nothing much but a bed and a TV. He felt lucky the lights worked and the water was warm and he really didn't want to know when the sheets were last properly washed. 

He took a long shower. It wasn't exactly luxuriating, but he felt a deep and desperate need to be clean before anything went down so he took his time. Besides, there wasn't much else he could do except get lost in his own head over how on Earth he might be able to make this up to Steve later on.

Alexander had given him a quick brief on how the poker game worked and what their game plan was, he also gave Danny a rundown on the building the game was being held in, just in case things went wrong and Danny had to escape on his own. They then took a few pictures of Danny against the wall with his hands tied, a gag in his mouth and a blindfold. All to authenticate their 'buy in' for the tournament the next day.

Alexander then left Danny for the night with two handlers who were there to keep a close eye on him. 'To make sure he was safe' Alexander had said, but Danny felt less like he was in witness protection and more like he was a criminal himself, being watched to make sure he didn't do anything he wasn't supposed to.

Lying on the creaky and hard bed, he did his best not to think back to the last time he'd been in a similar terrible motel. When he'd had a meltdown and cracked Steve over the back with a wooden chair. It wasn't his finest moment and the memory choked him, just like a lot of other memories to do with Delano and the Reyes cousins. Memories he thought he could put behind him and move past but it seemed there was always something done to remind him. 

Not only was he being dragged into this but he garnered no sympathy from those 'helping' him right now. Alexander was too officious, too keen, and it rang alarm bells in Danny's head even before he vaguely threatened Grace. The others were doing their jobs, but Danny had no desire to get to know anything about them, not even their names, and neither did they seem to reciprocate.

He could really have used Steve in that moment. Lying there, curled up on his side, thoughts spinning, firing around in his head. One touch from Steve, just the feel of his arms around Danny's waist and his mind would have shut up.

Instead, he spent the night longing for their comfort while unable to sleep, feeling sick at the thought that Steve was out there, looking for him, thinking - _**knowing**_ \- he was in trouble, but not truly knowing what that trouble was and being led in the wrong direction. That Steve thought him kidnapped by Delano. 

Not that he wasn't. In many ways he was. He hadn't done this because he wanted to, he'd been bullied into it through his concern for his friends and family; they were his weakness and now the good guys had been the ones to exploit it. Maybe that was why he was on edge around Alexander. He came from a line of people, and he associated himself with people, who believed better than to use such a weakness against you. 

Steve knew what Delano wanted with Danny, all of Five-0 did and though it had been humiliating for Danny to consider what the team knew, he was also well aware of how much they tried to protect him. Danny would go to those same lengths in return so he knew what they were thinking right now. That Danny was being abused somewhere out there.

And here he was, curled on a bed, being watched by Government officials, yet what Five-0 were thinking probably wasn't far off. He was a lamb to the slaughter. He was preparing to be served up on a platter for Delano. Sure, it was an act, but it was still being played out with Danny as the star. 

He did not want to do this. 

The sun rose and the threadbare curtains did little to shield them from its brightness. He didn't bother doing anything to help his appearance: he needed to look like Alexander had captured him, so no point in caring about his clothes or shaving. He had to stop himself smoothing back his hair at every opportunity. 

The minutes felt like hours as he waited with very little to do except hold back the rolling fear in his gut. He turned down all the food he'd been offered and only sipped at small amounts of water; too worried he might throw it up as his mind flicked through all the different ways this could go horribly wrong. 

When Alexander arrived, he put on a smarmy grin. "Time to go," he said, voice almost cheery. 

A bag was put over Danny's head, for show more than anything else. He already knew where they were going, he'd memorized the maps the night before. He was cuffed and put in the trunk of the car and one of the Marshals - he wasn't sure who as neither of his bodyguards had said much the night before - told him he'd drive as carefully as possible while slapping his back in an attempt to be friendly.

At the other end, he was taken out and led inside, tripping up the steps as he went and turning his head around all over the place trying to work out where voices were coming from. Once in the room he was cuffed to a metal railing on the wall and they took the bag from his head. His eyes had to adjust to the light, but it was low and there were no windows to remind him of the daylight outside.

The door shut behind them with an audible thump of finality and Danny swallowed against his dry mouth as he looked over at Alexander. 

"We're the only ones here," Alexander commented and his voice seemed to echo in the round chamber. Danny had to hand it to Delgado, he knew how to pick an imposing spot. A round room, with metal bars and railings all over. No windows, low light and a center piece of a sturdy poker table and the chairs around it. 

"Someone has to be first, right?" Danny said, trying for lighthearted only for Alexander to turn wide, scared eyes on him. 

"I was sure we'd be arriving in the middle of the game. Not the start of it."

Danny's stomach sank. Not that it could fall any lower, but this seemed like his gut telling him to pay attention. That something had never been right about any of this and he'd agreed foolishly, not fully considering things like how Five-0 would do everything it could to protect Grace from any threat and that he should have walked out of the Governor's office and faced this thing with the team he trusted, not the word of the Marshals service and a man he didn't like from the moment he'd laid eyes on him. This was his own fault. His knee-jerk reaction to take on the world's problems himself in order to protect his daughter and his family could have been the wrong decision to make.

Oh God, and Steve had no idea where he was. None at all.

He tugged at his hands, hoping the bar might be loose or the cuffs not on properly but they held tight. "Any chance you can get me out of these?" he asked. 

Alexander shook his head. "They took everything I had on me. No weapons, no identification, nothing except our money and the clothes on our backs, that's the point."

"You couldn't have hidden a freaking key somewhere?!" Danny hissed at him. 

"They changed the cuffs over, it's Delgado's own ones not mine. Any key I'd have brought would be useless."

The door banged open with the force of a kick and then a woman was tossed inside. She fell to the floor with a whimper and then one of Delgado's men picked her up and took her to the metal bar on the wall opposite Danny and cuffed her around it. She was wearing nothing but a pair of black panties and black stilettos. Her long blonde hair was an unruly mess and her make up smudged and tear stained. 

Danny recognized her instantly. "Cesca?" he asked. It couldn't be. No… but…

Francesca had been the only one of the group who had witnessed Reyes killing his money launderer that hadn't been found. The only one out of all the kids who worked with Delano and Reyes that Danny knew personally who had disappeared without a trace. She had haunted him these last few months more so than any other of the victims they still hunted for. Seeing her here was no coincidence. 

Delano strode into the room like he owned the place, a smug and victorious smile on his face as he took in Danny and Alexander. The door was closed behind them with it's echoing thunk and everything seemed heightened. 

Danny could hear his own breathing the thud of his heart, the blood in his ears, hell he could both feel, see and hear the sweat trickling down his body. 

Delano took the steps to the table, fingers running along the edge of it. "This is what you might call, turning the tables," he said as he looked up at Danny and then over to the Marshal and brought a gun out of the waistband of his pants, making him the only armed man in the room.

"My men are on the way-" Alexander began. 

"Your men are dead," Delano interrupted. "The two you had working with you are lying in the back alley. And I have a hacker who is making sure your further back up thinks everything's under control. By the time anyone catches on, I'll be long gone."

"How did you know?" Danny asked through gritted teeth as he pulled and pulled on his cuffs, desperate to get them to break but they held firm. 

Delano flourished his free hand in Alexander's direction. "Why the good Marshal of course! He was in Delgado's pocket. Of course, he was under the impression that everything here would go smoothly and he'd be rewarded for my capture while Delgado distanced himself from this particular game and location, but it hasn't worked out that way." 

"I never planned for anyone to get hurt," Alexander tried to backtrack. 

"You idiot!" Danny shouted at him. "You dirty son of a bitch, I knew something wasn't right."

"Delgado knew that, too, didn't trust him, knew I'd be more willing to risk it," Delano said. "He paid for the information, but he then sold that onto me, along with this location. So not only do you not get to bust him for one of these illegal games, but you also have to face up to the fact that I knew your plans and now, everything's going to happen my way."

"If you're going to kill me, just do it," Danny said.

"Now, now, I'm not going to kill you. I own you, Danny, and what kind of businessman would I be if I destroyed something that could make me profit. Besides, it's no fun to just shoot you and the Marshal in the head."

"Fun?" Alexander asked. 

Delano pulled a chair out from the table and sat, gesturing for Alexander to do the same. "I'm giving you the chance to win. That's why we're here, after all. And it's why I brought my own buy in. So here's the deal. You and I play. If you win, you both get to leave along with sweet Cesca over there and I relinquish all my claims on Danny."

"And what if you win?" Danny asked when Alexander remained silent and shaky.

"Then I get what I want. And you know what that is," Delano eyed Danny darkly as he placed the gun within easy reach in front of him on the table. "And if you refuse to play then you both eat a bullet right now, so playing is your best chance. I suggest you take it."

Alexander turned his head back towards Danny in worry as Frank dealt the cards, but Danny refused to look at him. Whether the guy knew how to play poker or not it didn't matter, this was never going to be a fair fight and Danny knew it. It was theater, for his benefit and Delano's enjoyment. And Danny should never have trusted Alexander. Should never have believed him, should have listened to the persistent voice in his head that told him to be careful with this.

Now they had no choice but to play and Danny was trusting this whole thing, his life in every sense of the word, to a man who betrayed him and the government and who was shaking like a leaf. 

One game. Winner take all. Delano was too confident, Danny could only assume the cards were rigged in his favor. 

Frank looked Danny up and down. "You know, this seems highly unfair. Poor Francesca is wearing next to nothing. And yet, Marshal Alexander, your buy-in is fully dressed."

Alexander swallowed and stumbled over meaningless guttural sounds. 

"Danny," Delano spoke more directly to him. "I suggest you strip."

"No," Danny growled out.

"Strip or this game gets put on hold and I put Francesca over this table and fuck her in front of you."

"Danny, please," Cesca begged of him where she was all but cowering by the wall and Danny knew he had to do it. The choice of him being naked or Cesca being raped in front of him was an easy one to make. 

"Listen to the girl, Danny, she's been through enough, after all," Delano told him, voice convincing him. As Danny began to stretch his cuffed hands up as much as possible to undo the buttons of his shirt, Delano kept up a commentary. "How long was it that the Reyes's had you Danny, two days? And in that time they certainly did a number on you. Imagine what it would be like to be in the hands of scum like that for 2 _**months**_. Or better yet, just ask her," Delano gestured to where Cesca huddled on the floor, her hands held up by the cuffs around the metal pole she was attached to. 

"I'm so sorry," Danny said to her, trying to catch her eye. "I looked… we looked everywhere. I hadn't given up."

"Danny," she said, an almost sympathetic look on her face, like that of a kindred spirit. 

"It's a miracle she can even say your name," Delano mused. "When I got her back she couldn't speak. I thought at first they'd bashed her over the head one too many times and knocked her brain cells out of place. But really she was just too scared to open her mouth."

"I'm sorry," Danny told her again, heart breaking at the thought of what she'd been through and with only that tease from Delano as to what her life had been. 

The man in question huffed as he watched Danny struggle to strip in the confines of his cuffs. He stood, and went over to Cesca, using one of the bullets in his gun to shoot the cuffs. It freed her but she cowered and screamed out, thinking something much worse was happening. 

Delano grabbed under her arm and brought her to her feet where she stumbled in her heels. "Help him," Frank ordered. "Do as you're told or I send you back to Colombia."

She shook her head, eyes wide in worry and she got on with what Delano asked of her, helping Danny by undoing his pants and slipping them down his legs. "Colombia?" Danny asked in disbelief. 

Frank shrugged. "I know, right? There the whole time. Crazy how these things work out."  
   
"You'll be okay, I'll get you out of here," Danny tried to reassure Cesca while she took his shoes and socks off and then helped him out of his pants and underwear. "He's not going to hurt you," he did what he could to maintain eye contact with her - something she was clearly scared to do; conditioned to be subservient while she was held captive and used. She pulled his shirt down his arms but had to struggle and rip it to get more of it off.  
   
Delano helped, his superior strength ripping the material with a sound that echoed in the rounded room, almost knocking Danny off balance with the force he used to get the last of the shirt away, leaving only a small part still around his wrist.  
   
Alexander was still sitting in his chair like he was unable to catch up with the unexpected changes to his well thought out plans. He clearly didn't have the ability to adapt and Danny had become used to having a partner and a team with him who could do anything no matter the odds or the circumstances. For his own part, Danny wasn't coping well but he was doing everything he could to push those thoughts aside and concentrate on what he could do, which was to keep an eye out for opportunities to get free, and to keep himself and Francesca calm in the meantime.  
   
Delano held onto Cesca's elbow while he looked Danny up and down appreciatively. He tilted his head as he eyed Danny's groin and backside and then he made a decision. He manhandled Cesca over to where Alexander was sitting, whispered commands into her ear and then made her straddle the man's legs. He stepped back again and watched as she caressed through Alexander's hair, his expression still blank and nervous, arms rigid at his sides.  
   
Danny bit his tongue. If he were in that position he'd have protested, he'd have tried something and yet the Marshal just let Delano's orders take precedent with no objections.  
   
Francesca lifted Alexander's hands and placed them on each of her breasts. Her hands on top of his helped guide him to massage, squeeze, fondle, before she leaned forward and kissed him, open mouthed, wet, dirty. While distracting him with her lips and tongue her hands continued to guide his down her body as Danny and Delano watched.  
   
Frank edged closer to Danny as Cesca bunched the crotch of her panties aside and used two of Alexander's fingers to penetrate her. She moaned into his mouth with a practiced groan of appreciation and rocked her hips forward as she fucked his fingers. Danny watched as long as he could then visibly turned his head away and down. That was when Delano hovered over his back, body close enough that he could feel the rub of Frank's clothing against his bare skin.  
   
"Fair's fair, Danny," he breathed against Danny's ear. "If the Marshal gets to sample the goods then so do I," his hands raked up Danny's sides to his shoulders, round his collarbone to his neck where he gave a testing squeeze and Danny gasped. He wanted to say no, wanted to shove Delano away but his earlier threats of what he'd do to Cesca still rang in Danny's ears. "Well done, darling."  
   
Danny fought the hold as his face was turned towards Delano's, but it was a token gesture since he knew he had little choice, but just because he was being made to do as Delano wished, he'd be damned if he was going to let Delano think he was enjoying a single moment of it. Frank's dry and chapped lips pressed against Danny's, wet tongue such an unwelcome contrast as it pushed for entry, forcing Danny's mouth open as Frank made his intentions clear. Two fingers joined their tongues, Delano pulling down with them against Danny's jaw and making sure they were laved with spit.  
   
The base of Frank's other palm pressed against Danny's hip and round to fondle his ass cheeks. He then slapped hard against them and pulled one to the side, tips of his fingers grazing against Danny's hole and then the fingers that had been in Danny's mouth joined down low and pushed in. Danny grimaced, tensed up, pulling his mouth back from Frank's and hissed.  
   
Frank just chuckled low in his throat and slapped Danny's ass again to distract him with the sting as the fingers pushed right the way inside him and thrust in and out, not caring that Danny was in pain from the fast intrusion. Danny struggled to stop tensing up his body, knowing it would help ease the pain but the tension wasn't just from that - it was from being used and being unable to do much about it. It was because Frank had a gun at the back of his pants that Danny had no hope of reaching, because Cesca was also being made to perform sex acts, because the Marshals had fucked up, because this was Frank Delano, because Danny had been stupid enough to get involved in this attempted take down, because he had no clue if anyone was going to be able to rescue them at all, let alone before he and Cesca were made to do worse.  
   
He belatedly noticed the pain in his wrists from where he'd been constantly pulling at the cuffs against the railing, the metal digging into his flesh and making it bleed where it had split open.  
   
"Getting loose there, darling, that's good. Better stay that way for later once I win you back," he licked the shell of Danny's ear and noticed as Danny cringed, a shiver running through him. "Not that I should need to. I still have our contract," he pointed out and Danny turned annoyed eyes to Delano.  
   
"You don't own me."  
   
"If that defiance in you helps you sleep at night then you keep believing that. But trust me, I'm going to be calling the shots for a long time to come." He pulled his fingers out of Danny's ass and fondled him again, slapping each cheek to redden it. "Stay where you are, Fran, dear, maybe the Marshal is going to need all the help he can get if he's going to win this game," Delano winked over at Danny, both of them, all of them, aware of just how rigged this was.  
   
Frank slouched back in his chair, legs spread, body relaxed as he gathered the cards up again and shuffled them once more before dealing them out.

Alexander was terrible under pressure, sweating, pale, going into shock. Danny had no idea how much experience the guy had, but if he had anything in his record, Danny would bet it was lies going by how the man was right now. Perhaps his own guilt at selling everyone out was a factor but mostly, he just seemed a coward who had been attempting to buy his way through life and it had backfired on him immensely. 

Alexander found his bearings long enough to play his hand, to ask for the cards he needed and to shakily reach the ones he didn't need away. It was only one game and didn't take long and there was no fanfare as the cards were laid on the table. Alexander had a half decent hand, but as Delano fanned his out with three aces and two tens, Alexander's nines were, inevitably, no match.

"Just, think about what you're doing," Alexander told Delano, finally finding some courage in his voice, leaning forward and dislodging Cesca from his lap. As she stood, she moved over to where Danny was and huddled by him, pressing her front to his side and leaning her head on his shoulder. 

"I've thought about it for a long time," Delano said. "Danny's mine again. Fair and square. My problem right now is if I let you go and you run to McGarrett to tell him where his little whore is."

"I swear I won't. You can trust me, okay? Delgado paid me a decent amount of money, I can leave the country, no one need ever know."

"If we make it out of here alive, I swear to God, Alexander, I will hunt you down and kill you myself," Danny warned him. 

"Maybe if you grovel at my feet, I'd be more inclined to believe you," Delano told Alexander, who took a moment, unsure if Delano was serious, but the sight of Frank beginning to play with his gun made him slink out of his chair to his knees and he waddled closer. Before he could open his mouth, Delano spoke again. "On second thought. A man willing to grovel would wilt under McGarrett in a second. I can't take that risk." He turned his gun on Alexander and shot him in the forehead.

The noise reverberated in the room. Cesca screamed, tucking her head into Danny's neck and Danny braced himself by the wall, shoulders rising in his own fear, his eyes screwed shut for a moment. 

When he opened them it was to see Delano standing over Alexander's body, prodding it with his foot while he tucked his gun into the back of his waistband again. "Over here, girl," Delano ordered and Cesca submitted to him though her movements were stilted as she wasn't sure how to get around the dead body on the floor. 

Delano dragged her in close and then bent her over the table. He grabbed up the ripped pieces of Danny's shirt and used it to gag her, tightening the material behind her head, pulling it taut. He pulled back her panties to get a look at her and then rubbed her clit before his fingers pushed inside her, thrusting once, twice, before pulling out. 

Frank felt himself through his pants, his hardness beginning to shape inside them. He rubbed the heel of his hand against himself. "Poor girl. Those months being used by the men who owned her and she's pretty much ruined down there… they didn't exactly take good care of her." He turned uncaring eyes onto Danny. "It's up to you, darling. Want me to fuck her or fuck you?"

"Killing a man turns you on does it?" Danny asked, delaying.

"Being in control turns me on," he said, almost crooning in delight. "And I know I'm at my best when I'm the one in the room with a gun. Also the only one with my clothes on. And I know exactly what to do to make someone do what I want."

"Let her go," Danny said, shoulders drooping in defeat, despite his tense worry.

"Sit in the chair," Frank ordered Cesca and she slid off the table and down onto the seat while he walked back over to Danny. "You're so easy to manipulate, darling," he said as he ran a hand down Danny's cheek. 

Danny spat in his face, but all Frank did was wipe a hand down his face and then leave a wet trail down Danny's chest with the remnants. He pulled his gun out from the back of his waist band and held it to the side of Danny's head. 

Danny's eyes flicked over to it, to Frank and to Cesca, mind reeling over various ways to get out.

"I wouldn't if I were you," Frank told him, reading his mind. "You might get it away for me, you might not. You might kill me, you might not. But I'm not here alone I've got men outside that door. Very big men… very _**armed**_. They hear something they don't like, they will kill you and the girl. Then they'll take your bodies and bury them in an unmarked grave in the rainforest. Now maybe for a fleeting moment you'd still consider it, hell, maybe dying is better than whatever you're imagining I want to do to you, but think about the people who love you, the ones who might look for you. They'll never know what happened. They would go the rest of the lives still holding out hope that you'd walk in the front door. Do you want to do that to them?"

Danny swallowed, thoughts of Grace and Steve and his family and friends not knowing what happened. Steve not moving on, slowly killing himself unable to cope, not letting go… Grace never knowing what happened to her father and clinging to rituals year after year hoping he'd come back, maybe blaming him for how untrusting she could become, blaming him for all the bad things in her life thinking he'd abandoned her…

He knew what he was doing, knew how he was being manipulated to go there; to the outcomes he feared and had the power to prevent. Of course, that was all assuming the people in his life loved him as much as he loved them, but he was sure they did and Delano was sure of it, too.

"What do you want me to do?" he asked, voice shaking. Annoyed at himself for giving in, convincing himself he was doing the right thing and had considered all the possibilities.

"I want you to lie on this table and open your mouth," Delano told him. He dug in his pocket and took out the key to unlock Danny's wrists, bringing the cuffs from around the pole before tightening them back again. Now Danny could move, but that didn't give him an advantage. Not when Delano had the gun and the back up and Cesca was still in danger. He was determined to get her out of this alive, and to get her the help she needed.

He moved to the table, Frank waving at him with the gun both in warning and in direction. He pulled himself up and turned so that he was lying flat on the surface of it. Frank helped him, nudging him forward until his head was hanging off the end of the table, shoulders on the edge and Frank's crotch in his line of sight. 

Frank backed up enough to lean his head down, kissing Danny sloppily upside down, biting at his lips and then spitting into his mouth. He patted Danny's cheek. "A little dry there, Danny. My cock likes a lot of lubricant." He opened his fly, finding it tough around the hold he still had on his gun but he got it, pushing the material aside and drawing out his hard dick. He stroked it, lifted it and fumbled his pants and underwear down enough to free himself entirely. 

Fingers ran over Danny's lips and he was ordered to open up. Frank drew his dick along Danny's mouth, fucking sideways against his lips, then turning more to push his dick inside Danny's mouth and to the back of his throat. He held Danny's head in place, not letting him move, keeping his dick deep, blocking his ability to breath for long moments, then releasing. Danny gulped air into his lungs, only enough in heavy breaths before Frank's dick was inside his mouth again, filling it up and pushing to the back of his throat. Danny's hands flailed back and held onto one of Frank's forearms, and he could feel the cold press of metal against his head from the gun; a constant reminder of how forced he was into doing this and it kept him from biting down on Frank's cock. 

Everything darkened, Frank's shadow and whole body oppressive over Danny as he positioned himself, legs on either side of Danny's head, arms braced over Danny's hips and then he was fucking into Danny's mouth hard. Thrusting over and over, making Danny moan and cough and gag around the hardness.

"That's it, darling, keep sucking that cock," he said thrusting fast and then drawing out, giving Danny a respite and stroking his cock again, his hips jutting forward to get his balls over Danny's mouth and making him suck on them, too. "I'll bet McGarrett never treated you like this, huh. Such a shame, considering how good you are at it. He's really missed out."

"Steve is ten times the man you-"Danny growled out only to be cut off by Frank's dick invading his mouth again. His hold and the pressure on Danny's hips noticeable and bruising as he moved against Danny.

He finally let up, taking a step back from the table, dick still in hand and breathing heavily, sweat beading on his forehead. "Hands and knees," he ordered Danny. "Let's see that ass before your mouth makes me come."

Danny's knees were on the edge of the table and Frank made him lower the top half of his body, arms held up by his elbows and ass high in the air. He pushed Danny's legs further apart then beckoned Cesca up to stand and come closer. He used her hands to hold Danny's ass cheeks apart while he spat on the hole and shoved the first finger inside him. 

Danny flinched forward, trying to get away from the sharpness of the pain as Delano finger fucked him. He was lost in feeling sorry for himself for long moments, that he didn't realize Cesca was on her knees, still holding Danny open but also sucking Frank's cock. 

"Hey," Danny protested. "You said you'd leave her alone, that's our deal."

"Then get down here and present something tighter for me to fuck," Frank told him, grabbing at him and pulling him from the table, Danny's knees and thighs scraped against the edge of the table painfully and he wobbled on his feet. His chest was shoved down and his head twisted to the side to see Cesca sitting on the ground where she had fallen, eyes tearing up.

Then Delano was shoving into him and it ripped a cry from his throat. He hadn't been fully prepped but he could feel the cold wetness of lube so Delano had taken just enough time to make sure his dick was slick and wouldn't so easily tear Danny open. He had a vague memory of Delano not being keen on blood on his whores and it was a strange thing to have come to the forefront of him mind in the situation. 

It didn't make a difference. Despite the hurt easing as Danny made himself relax, despite the slide of the lube inside and against him, Delano's dick still felt like it was wrapped in barbed wire as it assaulted him. His hands on Danny's body, the feel of his skin pressed to Danny's was hot and irritating like a burn and the drops of spit and sweat like acid eating at his body.

Danny knew he was staring at the wall with no focus, knew his cheek and chest were red raw by the rub of movement against the green felt top table, knew he was losing strength, losing will, knew he was disassociating. He had to, because he had to ignore the pains and he couldn't give Frank any satisfaction. Frank rode him hard, fast, grunting and groaning as he enjoyed himself and wanted Danny to _**know**_ he was enjoying himself. The sound almost made Danny miss the shouts from outside the room. 

When Frank pulled out of him, he knew he hadn't imagined it, even as the burning pain lingered. 

Gunfire. It was automatic gunfire. Something was going on outside of the room. Danny took the opportunity and despite how much he didn't want to move, he twisted up and round and grabbed his own cuffed hands around Delano's gun and did everything he could to wrench it free. With a burst of determination, Danny was able to draw their dueling hands between their bodies, the gun pressed close to each of their torsos. 

Delano tried to distract Danny with a satisfied smirk and a roll of his hips, pressing his still hard dick into Danny's hip but it didn't make Danny shrink back in fear, it made him want to shoot it.

The gun went off between them and the two men collapsed together onto the ground, Delano on top of Danny. Pain in the back of Danny's head from the impact of the fall made his vision blur and then everything went black to the sound of Cesca screaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope to get chapter 3 up around Sunday. A busy real life (work and Star Wars yay) means I've not got much chance before then. Plus I don't want to catch up too fast on the bits I'm writing at the moment! So apologies for the few days that you'll be left on the cliffhanger....


	3. Chapter 3

It could only have been a few minutes, no more than that. Danny could hear whimpering from under the table next to him but couldn't see past the hulk of Delano's body, not that he was able to look around himself because the light source for the room was above him and hurt his eyes as he tried to open them.

He twisted his head to the other side and once he could see what was in front of him, he wished he hadn't looked. No more than an inch from his face was Alexander; his cold, dead, fixed expression of fear looking right at Danny. 

"Oh God, Danny, no no no," he recognized Kono's voice as the sound of footfall invaded the room and then Delano was pulled from on top of him. When she saw Danny's eyes fluttering open and his chest rising and falling she sagged in relief and fell to her knees beside him. "Chin, he's here! Get the paramedics!" she called out. 

"Hey," Danny breathed out. His hands were wet and he lifted them to see the blood but he didn't feel like he'd been shot and with Frank having fallen on him as he had, the bullet must have gone into the other man. It was Frank's blood on Danny's body.

"Danny?" Cesca's scared voice said from nearby and Danny could now see where she was cowering under the table, still shaking from the gunfire and from the ordeal she'd been through. 

"Hey, beautiful. I'm okay. I'm going to get you out of here and safe, okay?" Danny assured her, reaching his still bound hands out to her from where he was lying. 

She took one, but tentatively. "You're okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay," he said. 

"But you screamed when he… I thought…"

"I'm okay," he reiterated and tried to push up from where he was lying, conscious of his state of undress and everything he was covered in, not to mention the obvious signs of what had been going on with Delano; now spread on his back with his dick out.

Chin burst into the room, shotgun laid over his chest. "Whoa," he said.

"We could use a little-" Danny gestured to himself and to Cesca. Before this place became a circus, they could use some clothing.

"Dignity. Got you," Chin said and then moved to the door and ordered a member of the SWAT team to hurry the paramedics along and to bring blankets.

"Where's Steve?" Danny asked, sitting up using the leg of the table to lean back on and crossing his legs, using one hand to cover his own junk, letting go of Cesca's despite her not wanting to, but instead she leaned into his side, trusting only him. His worry ramped up when he saw the looks Chin and Kono exchanged and they weren't good.

"He's uh… he's not here," Kono hedged. 

"Not here? But… where…?" There was no logical reason that Steve wouldn't be involved in his rescue. If Five-0 was involved, Steve would see it through as a matter of honor and pride. And even if someone did try to order him off the case of finding his fiancé for some hokey personal involvement reason, Steve wouldn't allow it. He'd followed Danny to Colombia, he sure as hell would follow Danny to a gambling den in downtown Honolulu. He couldn't be that mad at Danny that he would leave him to… No, the only reason Steve wouldn't be there- "Is he hurt? Tell me he's not hurt."

"No, he's fine. At least we think he is. He's at the precinct."

"Why?"

"He's been arrested," Chin filled in the last.

"Arrested?" Danny felt confused and like he was on a fishing expedition, asking question after question and not getting a straight answer. "What for?"

"Assault. And I think obstruction of justice. We're a little fuzzy on it ourselves," Kono told him.

"He punched the Governor," Chin laid it out for him. "And then he punched the Head of Tactical Operations for the Marshals. They were all in the same room, it's not like Steve went hunting them down to hit them, it just seemed to… happen. In front of witnesses."

Danny wasn't firing on all cylinders. His heart rate felt like it was through the roof, he was exhausted, he hurt in various places and now he was beginning to shiver. He figured it was from the cold of being naked but the part of his brain still functioning told him it was shock. "So he's not coming," Danny stated, mostly to himself. 

Kono's hand on his shoulder rubbed sympathetically. "We'll do what we can. You need to let the paramedics see you," she said and Danny looked up to see the two strangers hovering nearby, waiting to carefully approach. 

They were given blankets to cover themselves up and Danny had to calm Francesca and convince her to allow them near to touch her, to make sure she was okay. She refused to leave Danny's side and he was determined to be there for her. He recognized the same shock and helplessness in her that he remembered feeling for himself after Pedro Reyes ruined him and he vowed to be by her side every step of the way, especially since he seemed to be the only one she was letting in right now. 

Danny assured the paramedics that he was okay, that the blood on him wasn't his own and anything else wasn't any kind of emergency, including his head where, it turned out, the blood _**was**_ his own where it was slowly seeping out and into his hair at the back of his skull. 

He stood gingerly, the surrounding audience that he chose to ignore all seemed to wince in sympathy with him as he carefully moved, sharp pains shooting through his ass, his legs shaky and unstable from shock and his head wound making him dizzy. He wrapped an arm around Cesca, put on a brave face for her and for the team, letting them know he was okay and he was strong enough to walk and he helped lead the battered girl out and into the ambulance. Before they left, Chin dug into the trunk of Kono's Cruze and brought the bolt cutters to cut off the cuffs from around Danny's wrists, allowing the paramedics better access to clean them up during the journey to the hospital.

Chin and Kono followed in the car, leaving SWAT to clean up the scene with what looked like a few marshals Danny had avoided eye contact with. When they arrived at the hospital they were separated, but Danny assured the young girl that he was right next door and if she truly needed him, he would come running. 

His talent at calming witnesses and victims was put to good use as she settled, confident that he was still there for her even when she couldn't see him, and he helped put her trust in the medical staff.

Once he was in his own room, two doctors came in and he vaguely recognized them. "No offense, docs, but I was really hoping to never see you again."

"None taken, and the sentiment is returned," the doctor told him and Danny struggled to remember the man's name but it was a long lost memory. Many things from what happened those months ago had blurred in his head and his time in the hospital was one of those. He remembered staring at the ceiling, he remembered being scared, he remembered Steve being there to hold onto him, but the rest was mostly… well, there had been that nurse he liked in the ward. But he had no reason to be kept in and expected to get out of the ER as soon as they'd done the rape kit. 

It was inevitable. He'd avoided it last time due to the lack of…. intrusion. This time, he knew he should do it. Steve would insist and somehow, he was losing an argument in his head to a Steve who wasn't even here. 

The doctors were pleasant, they tried to keep him at ease with their best bedside manner and Danny felt it was almost laughable that they asked him about winters in New Jersey while they were touching him in places he'd prefer they didn't. He put that down to the shock, too. 

Not soon enough, they declared the examination over. Danny was fine, for the most part. He was to keep an eye on his head, and he'd have a sore ass for a while and everything else was superficial, though they handed him instructions and a prescription for painkillers and ointment. As he moved to stand up again, sheets held around his waist, the younger looking of the doctors placed a hand on his shoulder gently to stop him. 

"Detective, I know you don't need reminding, but considering the circumstances, you will need to-"

"Talk to someone, I know," Danny answered, almost flippantly with an eye roll. 

"You're coping incredibly well, but you were put through a lot. The shock is evident and you will need to stay in the company of a friend or family member."

"I'm more concerned about Francesca, the young girl who was with me. She was kept at the hands of abusers for months, she's the one you need to worry about."

"And the doctors attending to her will do everything they can, our concern is you," the older doctor said.

"Can I see her?" Danny asked, still ignoring their concerns. Though 'ignoring' wasn't the right word. He registered the concern, he just put it aside for now. "I know what I need to do, seriously. Not to be blasé about this, but I've done it before. You've got my records, you can see for yourself. This wasn't nearly as bad as last time so trust me, I've got this."

"Detective… Mr Williams… despite the seemingly rational notion of a- a 'scale' of how bad rape is, that isn't an indicator of how the brain interprets things. That's not how these things work. From just exactly what rape is to how the mind works, it's-"

"I'll talk to someone, I promise, just please, I don't want to deal with me right now, I want to deal with everyone else. I need to make sure they're okay." At Danny's words, the doctors exchanged glances. No one in the room was unaware of exactly what Danny was doing - avoiding. He was putting off the thinking and the rationalizing and the dealing. He was shoving it all aside to make sure other people were going to be okay before he thought about himself. Some might call it noble, others cowardly. Danny really wasn't sure which it was.

The doctors relented, reiterating all their advice and then allowing Danny to clean up in the bathroom. He showered quickly, scrubbing the visible signs away, knowing it would take a lot more to truly feel clean but he was going to do that once he got home. 

Chin arrived, having collected some clothing for Danny, which meant Danny had been with the doctors for longer than he'd realized. It was just sweat pants and a t-shirt with a pair of slip on, comfortable shoes, but it made him feel more like himself before he slipped down the corridor. 

"Hey, beautiful," Danny said as he knocked on Cesca's room. Unlike him, she was going to be kept in for a while. He'd spoken with one of the doctors taking care of her, and there were some broken bones that hadn't healed properly, as well as other signs of trauma that they wanted to take care of. He knew she'd be in some form of care for a while and he planned to see her every day until he was confident she could stand on her own two feet.

"Hey, handsome," she smiled back at him and it was the first smile where she didn't seem quite so hopeless. 

"They treating you okay here?" Danny asked as he moved closer and took her hand. 

"It's okay," she nodded. "Well, it's not. I… but… it's not there, right?"

"No, it's not, and that's the best thing. These are good people, they don't want to hurt you. And I'm going to be here for you every step of the way," he assured her. 

"Thank you, Danny. For everything," she said. She looked down for a minute. "Delano said, before we got there today, he said you weren't really a hooker, that it was an act, but he was planning to make it real this time. You're a cop, right?"

"Yeah," Danny nodded. "I've been undercover."

"But… why would you put yourself in that position? Frank said things, I heard him say about you being hurt."

"All in the line of duty. It's my job to put assholes like Delano in jail for how they treat people. Same as Reyes, same as the men who were holding you, and I'm going to do my best to find them and put them down."

"I don't know how you do it," she said, in awe of him. "What he put you through and you didn't have to be there…"

"If it means getting to see your pretty smile again then it's worth it," he told her and she blushed and ducked her head.

"You're so sweet," she said, finally able to look at him again, and Danny could see the adoration. "And kind. And strong, and handsome. It's going to be just my luck to discover you're taken…"

"I have a fiancé," he broke the news to her.

"Just like I thought. She's a lucky girl."

"Guy, actually."

"Oh," she said. "Well, doubly out of luck, I guess." She squeezed his hand. "You should go to him. I'm sure he's really worried about you. I'll be fine here. I know it's safe with all these doctors around."

He kissed her cheek and they hugged. He took one last look at her before he left, making sure she really was okay before heading back outside to where Chin was waiting for him. Kono was on her phone further down the hallway. 

"Everything okay?" Chin asked.

"Yeah," Danny said, still walking carefully and with a wider gait than he would like, feeling as if everyone could tell where his pain was and by virtue of that, know why he was hurting there. "I just want to go home, clean up properly."

Chin nodded and was about to say something when Kono came back over. "That was Duke, they're still holding Steve, bail was set pretty high considering he's a Navy SEAL and smart enough to know how to run if he wanted to," she shrugged.

Danny hadn't fully processed that Steve was behind bars. He had known it, was told it, but had a feeling that until he saw it for himself, he wouldn't believe it. At the same time, he'd felt so bereft these last few hours without Steve by his side that it was like he had a limb missing. It wasn't right, and he had to keep telling himself there was a reason for it. Not a good one, because Steve should know better, but a reason that was legitimate. 

"I thought he punched a couple of guys, since when did that need jail time and bail?"

"Since the Marshals put pressure on the HPD chief to keep him there. It's petty as all hell, but they're doing it. They don't want to admit they screwed up," Kono told him. 

"We can take you there, I'm sure Duke would allow you to see him," Chin said.

Danny looked down, hands on his hips. "No," he said, and surprised himself in many respects, but the feeling in the pit of his stomach at the thought of going to see Steve gave him pause. His mind was all over the place on this one. On the one hand, he was desperate to see Steve and to collapse in his arms and never let go. It was a tangible _**need**_ to be with Steve, a rope pulling him close, which made his heart swell at how much he loved Steve but scared him for the same reason. Just how dependent had he become on the SEAL that he had to run to him for everything? 

On the other hand, he also didn't want break down in front of Steve. He needed time to get everything that had happened straight in his head. He knew he hadn't really given himself pause to think yet and was going through the motions like he'd been trained to do. He knew he was due some kind of emotional collapse and last time that had ended in him cracking a chair over Steve's back and almost drowning himself in the shower. He didn't want to do that again, so maybe staying away from Steve just that little bit longer was what he needed.

Not to mention that little voice in the back of his head that said he'd lied to Steve by not getting word to him that he wasn't kidnapped, that he'd been on a mission. It had gone horribly wrong, and still he'd needed rescued, but it was a mission and he and the marshals had made Steve and Five-0 think he'd gone missing while he'd just been under guard at the motel. Even if his rational brain reminded him he had no way of contacting Steve, another part questioned whether or not he could have found _**some way**_ to do it.

He wiped at his face. "Chin, please just take me home. Kono, can you get word to Steve that you guys got me out?"

"Duke knows, he's going to tell Steve," she told him with a nod. 

"Thanks," he replied. "I need to shower and I need to lie down." He saw the looks of concern on the cousins' faces. "I know I should go see him but I just… I can't do it yet. I know it's weird."

"It's okay, brah," Chin patted his shoulder. "Whatever you need. Let's go," he led Danny away. 

When they got back home, Chin offered to go inside with him but he politely declined and once he was in the front door, once he heard Chin's car back out of the drive, his shoulders sagged and his legs wanted to give out. He moved to the armchair and collapsed into it. He took a deep breath. And another. He leaned forward and propped his head in his hands and bent low. 

He breathed, concentrating on it, because stopping here, being home, being alone in the house, being surrounded by everything normal that was his and Steve's had hit him like a ton of bricks. He thought being here would make him feel better. This kind of thing had always worked for him in the past and now, for the first time, he wondered if he should have done what other UCs had done in the past and taken a few days away to get his head together. 

Breathing, right, remembering to breathe. He was taking breaths that were too shallow, his heart was hammering in his chest. He was having a panic attack. 

He could do this, he could deal with it. 

He'd been raped, he'd been abused, he'd been betrayed, Alexander's dead eyes danced in the front of his mind, he could still feel Delano's weight crushing his chest, and Steve wasn't here because he was behind bars at the precinct. It was bad, it was all very bad but if he could just…. keep going through it all. 

The '85 Mets line up…. '85 Mets…

He began reciting them out loud even though he was alone in the house, and he was onto the '88 line up before he felt like he was under control again. "Shower. I need a shower," he said as he stood abruptly, not letting himself sink back into the kind of thoughts that would bring on another panic attack.

He stripped his clothes as he moved up the stairs, letting the sweats and t-shirt fall to the ground and he stepping into the shower before it was even on. The jet of cold water made him shiver when it hit his chest and he started scrubbing before it was warm. His skin was red and pruning by the time the steam was rising around him and he kept staring at his hands and scrubbing at his neck and down his torso - anywhere he was convinced Delano had put his hands. 

That was when he carefully began to rub at his ass cheeks, using his back scrubber and a copious amount of shower gel, watching the lather fall between his legs and down to the drain. He ran soft fingers down the crack of his ass and slowly ran the tip around his hole. He hissed as his nail scraped across raw skin. As much as he wanted to, well, clean himself out of Delano's touch, his impression… his pre-cum - he still hurt enough to stop himself going further in. The doctors hadn't recommended it. Said it could be a good week before he should and it would be a few days before he could go to the bathroom without seeing some blood.

He gave up with a growl and slapped his hand against the controls to shut off the flow of water. The silence around him was punctuated with the last drops from above as he hung his head, wet hair plastered to his forehead. He stood straight and wiped the hair back before stepping out, sniffing at himself and noticing belatedly that it was Steve's shower gel that he'd used rather than his own. 

Grabbing the nearest thick and fluffy towel he patted himself dry and then wiped the mirror enough to see the new bruises and marks on his body, immediately hating the sight and leaving the room to get dressed and hide them. 

He went about dressing in the most routine way possible, slacks, belt, shirt with the top button undone and the sleeves rolled up and his hair dried and slicked back in his usual style. Only the marks on his body showed the differences from his everyday life. That and, as he stood back from the full length mirror, the fact that he was alone in the room and no one was going to come up behind him, wrap arms around him and tell him he looked good today. 

As much as he'd been putting things off to get his head together… as much as he wasn't sure what to expect from Steve, he couldn't put it off any longer. He needed to go see him, because the most prominent thought in his head was that he didn't care how Steve reacted, he _**needed**_ to see him. 

The Camaro wasn't in the drive, he suspected it was at the office and that Steve had been using it while looking for Danny and punching Government officials, so he grabbed the keys for the Silverado to take to the precinct. 

Duke was ever the same when he greeted Danny, which was exactly what he needed, and he told Danny he'd get him in but he'd need to be quick. He shook the tension from his body as he made his way down the corridor and drew a deep breath before approaching Steve's cell. 

"What the hell is the matter with you, huh? Are you crazy?" He swaggered in and was going to say more, to rag on Steve for getting himself arrested, but one look at Steve sitting there, head up and eyes wide at the sight of Danny and he stopped dead in his tracks. 

"Danny," Steve breathed and in the next moment the bars rattled as Steve collided with them, arm through the space and out towards his fiancé. "Hey, baby, you're okay."

"Yeah, I…" Danny swallowed, blinking when he realized he was staring. He wasn't sure what to expect but Steve looked guilty, sad, hurting but not for himself. Danny could tell instantly that the other man didn't blame him for anything, but whether or not he knew the whole story was something else.

"Please," Steve whispered, almost begging Danny to come closer to him.

Danny obeyed the plea and moved as close as he could, curling his hands around the bars while Steve cupped his face. 

"Don't lie to me, he got to you, I know he hurt you, I'm so sorry," Steve kissed his forehead, his lips lingering against the warm skin before pulling back, eyes roaming Danny's body, noting the obvious bruises but seeing right through Danny to the ones more hidden. "I should have been there."

"I should have got word to you straight away, I didn't want to do this without you, they took my phone, kept me hidden, but I should have tried harder," Danny reasoned. "I still don't even know how you found out."

"The Governor told me. He had a change of heart, called me in along with the Marshals. Guess he figured that getting on my bad side was worse than getting on the Marshals' bad sides and he was right about that. The Marshals are assholes though, put me here because I hurt their pride. I'm just glad Kono and Chin got you out of there."

"Me too," Danny said.

"Did he-?" Steve choked off, question in his eyes and a modicum of hope that was dashed before Danny opened his mouth, knowing where the question was headed. 

"Yeah," Danny said, voice strained. 

"Shit," Steve leaned his forehead to Danny's again. "Baby, I… I'm going to kill him."

"I already beat you to it."

"Then I'm going to bring him back to life just so I can kill him again. And then by the time I get to hell, he's going to think the devil is a saint."

"Shush," Danny lifted a hand to Steve's face and stroked over his cheek. "Hey, he's dead, Francesca is safe, I'm safe, and yeah, there's some pain and hurt but that's all going to heal and we get to move on, okay? Let's just move on."

"I'd love to, but I'm a little banged up right now," Steve looked around them at the bars that blocked him from being able to hold Danny properly. The barrier did not help Danny's mood. As much as some fear still remained for how this would affect their relationship in the long run, the mere fact he needed to hug Steve and was prevented from doing it properly made his skin itch.

"I guess I'm going to be the one to fix this then," he said. "I brought the truck, I'll leave the keys with Duke and I'll meet you at home once I go have a chat with the right people."

"Your kind of chat or my kind of chat?" Steve asked with trepidation. 

"Considering that your kind of chat is what landed you here, we'll stick to the good cop routine. For the most part anyway. Maybe a little of your influence will slip through," Danny raised an eyebrow and it drew a sly smile from Steve. 

"That's my boy," he winked at him before lightly kissing his lips. 

*

Danny didn't need to go see the Governor, after all, the man had wised up to the situation and was probably bricking it over how Steve felt about him now. He could stew longer about Danny's opinions. 

Instead, he grabbed a ride in a cruiser and was dropped off outside the building on Ala Moana that housed the district office for the US Marshals. He knew he was looking for the visiting assistant director for Tactical Operations and Chin had given him the name on the phone. 

He walked in like he owned the place, ignoring the receptionist and the security guard who tried to stop him, and his timing was impeccable as he caught the man coming out of his office into a reasonably crowded corridor. 

"Assistant Director Dardenne," he called out, grabbing the man's attention. He was unmistakable with the sizable bruise on his face. "Wow, I've never been on the receiving end of McGarrett's fist and I really hope I never am if that's the damage he can cause."

"And you are…?" the director asked as Danny neared. 

"Are you going to do that? Really? Okay, I'll play. Detective Danny Williams, Five-0, and I'm here to make sure Commander McGarrett is released from the holding cell he's in at HPD. With no charges."

"Commander McGarrett assaulted a Federal Agent. He also attacked a State Official," the director began but Danny waved a hand and cut him off. 

"No, McGarrett punched someone who should have known better."

"He knocked me unconscious,"Dardenne blustered and Danny stuck out his bottom lip to consider it, then decided to phrase it rather differently. 

"He KO'd an asshole." He heard a snigger from somewhere down the corridor, realizing he was drawing a crowd, probably in much the same way Steve had originally. "I'm going to make things very simple for you. This epic failure of an Operation you signed off on to catch Delano is not something you want talked about in the press."

"You talk to the media and you expose everyone who witnessed those atrocities, you wouldn't do that to yourself or to the other victims."

"Are you kidding me? I'm well aware that I'm one of those victims, one of two who were physically, sexually abused. And both of us made it through that hell I'm sure we can handle a little press coverage. You should worry more about how the Marshals come out of this, especially considering the fact that Alexander was dirty; paid off by Albert Bagossa. He was also a coward who knelt at Delano's feet and begged to be freed so he could flee the country. Now you might say to me that since Alexander is dead, it's my word against his, but I'm sure the money trail will be easy enough for my friends to find and at that point, the media will have a field day over how the Marshals would put cops' lives in danger along with innocent civilians in order to run a sting operation on one man. A man who Commander McGarrett always refused to run an undercover sting on because he knew Delano would see through it. And McGarrett was proved right and in return has been put in a holding cell because you, Assistant Director, are a yellow-bellied asshole. So you're going to swallow your pride, and call HPD to let him go. Then you're going to put a little more concealer on that impressive shiner, and give a statement about how Five-0 did exemplary work on this case, celebrating our contribution and commending every member of the task force. You do that and we won't talk about how your Agent was a traitor to his country and got good men killed and that you tried to cover it up. Do I make myself perfectly clear?"

Dardenne didn't reply, but the sheepish red tinge to his cheeks and the small flick of his head was enough for Danny to know he'd been heard and things would be put to rights. Keeping his aloof attitude, he turned and walked back out to the stares of the other Marshals who had been around for the showdown.

He walked back to the Palace. It wasn't too far, just 15-20 minutes but he regretted it about halfway through when his aches and pains made themselves more known, but he determinedly continued and called for Chin to meet him at his car with the keys. He shook his hand and gave him a half-hug of thanks before driving home.

Steve was likely to take a little bit of time to get let out and collect his things but he figured he had time to get some food made so he set about getting the things he'd need to make sandwiches, cutting board and knife in hand when the front door thudded open. 

"Hey, buddy, that was quick. I'd have hoped you wouldn't be breaking the speed laws the moment you got out of jai-" he stopped dead in his tracks at the join between the kitchen and the living room when he looked up to see a man holding a gun on him. A man who he instantly mistook for Frank Delano, almost giving him a heart attack in his shock at seeing a dead man back alive until he noticed the small differences from the Frank he knew. Files in his head shuffled and he knew who it was. 

"Paul Delano," he said, hand gripping tighter to the knife he was holding at his side, not much of a match for the gun in Paul's hand, loaded and pointed in his direction. 

"So you're the little whore my brother was obsessed with," Paul said, a hint of crazy in his voice.


	4. Chapter 4

Danny looked around. It was just the two of them. Paul had the advantage of having the gun while Danny only a knife, but Paul Delano didn't know this house like Danny did.  
   
"What do you want?" he asked, stalling for time. Steve was on his way home, but how quickly he would get here was another question.  
   
"Classic revenge story. You killed my brother, I kill you," his gun waved in the air but it was always up and any shot he got off was unlikely to miss at such close range.  
   
"You came all the way from Los Angeles for this?" Danny wondered out loud, just how quickly had Delano been able to hop a plane over from the mainland after the news reached him of his brother's death? There was no way he'd done it legally because sure as hell he'd have been flagged coming in. And Danny mentally berated himself for not considering this kind of possibility, though how Delano had found the balls to come to their house was a mystery. Though maybe in his revenge addled mind, he didn't care about elaborate set ups and just wanted to get things over with. Danny edged back a step, he had one chance right now, but he needed another few moments to be ready. "You won't get away with it," he said, knowing he sounded like a walking cliché.  
   
"I'll take my chances," Paul said, looking like he was about to pull the trigger so Danny did the only thing he could think of and finished the step he was taking back into the kitchen and ducked to the side, relived at his choice when the bullet zinged past him and into the wall at the back of the kitchen. 

He knew it was expected of him to have scurried well to the side and away, if the gunshot that burst into the wall further down was any indication, but it was a dead end to go there - he'd run into a wall, so he stayed crouched low just at the side and waited for Paul to come looking for him. As soon as the legs of the man's shadow reached him, Danny grabbed out and pulled, making sure that Delano fell. He'd hoped the gun would skitter away when he hit the ground but Paul had a good grip on it - good enough to squeeze another shot off in a wild direction, making Danny hesitate as he ran back into the living room. He darted to the left, hands up to protect his head and made his way into the study knowing he'd never make it to the front door without getting a bullet in his back. 

He closed the door and locked it before lowering himself by the bookcase; avoiding the window to the front as much as possible in case Delano made his way around the house to size up the best opportunity. 

But Delano was kicking at the door and Danny praised Steve's family's craftsmanship because it wasn't budging. "Come on, little whore. Be a good boy and lie down for me so I can put this bullet in your brain!" Delano yelled as he kicked. "What is it, huh? Need me to pay you for it, is that it? How much did it cost my brother while you come back to this house and give it to McGarrett for free?"

Two more gunshots, this time aimed at the lock. Wood splintered and Danny had a split second to make a decision, knowing he couldn't try the same trick again that he had used in the kitchen.

He threw himself onto the ground just inside the room, curling a little onto his side to hide where he might be hurt and waited. Delano was patient, he was wary as Danny expected, surprised to see Danny on the ground but also hopeful since it wasn't out with the realms of possibilities that one of the bullets he'd aimed at the door had hit Danny as well. As much as he wanted Danny dead, he would want satisfaction from it. 

"I wanted to see your eyes when I put a bullet in you," Delano spoke to him and Danny was unsure if Paul thought he was dead or injured or just playing him. Talking to him could be a test. He wasn't coming quite close enough for Danny to react properly and he could feel his heart beating hard in his chest at the thought that he'd done everything wrong and was now lying on the floor completely vulnerable. "Maybe I'll just fuck your dead body instead. When McGarrett gets here, he can watch."

Danny saw red at the threat and Delano's shadow passed over his face, blocking the sun from the window and he took his chance, not willing to let anything Delano wanted come to fruition, not wanting any nightmare to become real. He was not going to let the Delano family win, just like he'd never let the Reyes' win either.

He twisted and snarled up at Delano, put everything he had into a kick that knocked the gun out of his hands and then launched himself at Paul. The two wrestled on the ground, both trying to get to the gun, pulling at legs and arms, kicking, gripping, pushing, lodging elbows wherever they could. Danny managed to smash Paul's head against the floorboards, giving him just enough of an advantage to get the gun, turn, and put a bullet in his chest. He pulled the trigger again, twice, to hear the clicks of the empty chamber.

He shuffled along the floor until his back hit the leg of the desk and he stayed with his eyes on a still breathing but unconscious and hopefully dying Paul Delano. He remained sitting there for long enough to get his breathing back under control and for the aches and pains in his body to become noticeable again, including some new ones, like the spot at the side of his ribs where Delano had managed to get a knee into him, or at his collarbone where the man had gripped at him until Danny had wrenched himself free in a painful twist of his own wrist. 

He reached up behind and onto the desk where he knew there was a landline phone and grabbed for it, calling 911 and giving his badge number, the address and instructions for an ambulance and maybe a coroner's wagon because he wasn't entirely sure which was necessary. 

He was in a daze, dealing with everything around him without thinking, staring out the window of the study to see the police cordon going up and people milling around when Steve arrived home, running up the driveway and calling his name. 

"I'm here, I'm okay," Danny told him as he burst into the study, scaring the young cop who was taking pictures of the scene. 

Delano was already outside and being treated by paramedics, the gunshot wound proving to not be life threatening after all though had Danny had more bullets in that gun, he would have been dead. 

The room, hell, the house was a state. Danny didn't quite remember making such a mess while fighting Delano, but he must have. Books littered the floor, the desk wasn't in its usual place, there was a lamp that had fallen and smashed and that was on top of the bullet riddled door that had splintered and the corresponding holes in the back wall. 

Then there was the similar damage in the kitchen. No wonder Steve had come flying through in a haze of worry and likely thinking the worst. 

Steve kept hold of Danny and led him through and out of the back door of the house, down to the chairs they liked to sit in, but he ignored his in favor of sitting on the ground right in front of where Danny sat on his chair, the hardness of the wood not proving comfortable on his abused body, but it was better than the rock and shell covered sand Steve was on. 

Steve's hands gripped into Danny's own as Danny leaned forward. Steve reached up and smoothed back Danny's hair, his eyes darting behind Danny's head to shoo away curious officers demanding statements.

"Baby, hey, talk to me," Steve encouraged him. 

"I should have seen it coming, you know?" Danny said with a sigh. "Figures that a family member would want some kind of revenge and take it out on me. It's not exactly new, is it," he shook his head.

"Well… you think they'd learn that taking you on is a bad idea," Steve said and though it was said with such earnestness, it also somehow lightened the mood. 

"I, uh, I can't be here," Danny said. "So much for coming home and trying to settle into normal after an Op. It followed me home. I can't stay here."

"I know, it's okay, HPD need to go over everything, we can go to a hotel, wherever you want."

"The Hilton it is then, yeah?" Danny rubbed his hands between Steve's. 

"Doesn't have to be. We could go to the Royal Hawaiian… or the Kahala, or anywhere."

"Hilton's fine," Danny answered, like they were talking about where to have dinner, not where to run to after their home had been invaded. "It's more familiar, that's a good thing."

"Okay, I'll get it sorted. Anything you need, I'm right here," Steve took one hand from Danny's tight grasp and used it to run soothingly up and down his arm before settling by his neck. He rose on his knees to get to a more equal height with Danny and pulled him into a hug, as much for himself as it was for Danny. 

"I need to make my statement. Go pack a bag for us," Danny told him, but it took a few more minutes of silent hugging before Steve would pull back. 

*

Danny pushed the door open and pocketed the key card as he stepped inside. It looked like any other hotel room and that was fine. The view was one he remembered and associated with the place and that was good. 

Steve followed him in, dropping both of the bags he was holding onto the floor and when Danny stopped in front of the bed, Steve pulled him around and into a full body hug. One arm tightened around Danny's torso while the other held to the back of his head, fingers tangling delicately in his hair. 

"Should we talk?" Danny asked, hearing the thumping of Steve's heart beside his ear and worrying about why it was so fast.

Steve pulled back and both of his hands went to cup Danny's face as he gave him a sympathetic look filled with worry and pride all at the same time. "You can tell me what he did to you."

Danny bit his bottom lip and tilted his head to the side. "Steve, don't do this, don't put yourself through that by asking. Don't make me say that stuff out loud to you."

"Danny, I just want to know what you need from me and I want to support you through this."

"Look, I got asked, no, _**told**_ , I was going undercover in what was supposed to be a simple sting operation but it turned out the Marshal I was with was crooked and a coward and Delano outsmarted him. I got played, I got… hurt, and then thank god for Chin and Kono arriving when they did because I was able to get the upper hand and there's a young girl safe in recovery right now. That's what happened and I'm seeing this is a win." He ignored what Steve was really angling for but his luck didn't hold.

"Where did he hurt you, Danny? Did he-?" Steve choked off and Danny saw the fear in his eyes, knowing he didn't really want the answer but was prepared for it. Danny didn't even have to speak for Steve to know, but he did anyway, because he had to.

But 'yeah' was all he said, all he could say through dry lips. 

"Shit," Steve let his head fall back and a small tear escaped. Danny wasn't sure why that almost made him angry. Why did Steve get to cry about it when it hadn't happened to him? Because this shit seemed to always happen to Danny. Danny was the one who was the whore and the slut and the filth that these criminals called him, not Steve. 

He kept the anger at bay. He recognized it. It was the same the time before when it spilled over and made him physically lash out at Steve when he broke down and he wouldn't let that happen again, he needed to swallow it back down and slowly let it through to come to terms with it. 

He pushed away from Steve and strode over to the window, acutely aware of the sharp pain that remained in his ass while he walked. He rarely didn't notice that feeling of something having been in there with the express purpose of hurting him and giving sick pleasure to someone else. 

"How do you feel?" Steve asked, not moving from his spot. 

"That's a loaded question," Danny answered and then turned around. "I know that I'm sore. Physically. I mean, it's hard to ignore that. As for anything else? I figure I just need the time to work out exactly how I feel."

"That makes sense."

"I just- Steve, I know you want to help. And I want that, too. I really do. But the thing is, when I was waiting to start the Op I thought maybe we were over. I knew that in that moment you thought I'd been kidnapped and yet I was just lying in a cheap motel bed, perfectly fine. And I didn't try anything to get word to you about it when I should have. And then when Delano… I mean, he… he did his usual, tried to poison everything and I tried not to listen but part of me couldn't help it."

"What does that mean?" Steve took a tentative step closer. 

"It means that I love you. I think maybe too much? I don't know, it doesn't make sense but I think about how much I need you and then I think… why would you want me?"

"Danny, I love you, you know that. You're amazing you-"

"I'm not fishing for compliments," Danny stopped him, holding a hand up. "I'm saying that I'm damaged, that I've been abused, that somehow I attract all this shit that makes sick bastards like Delano and Reyes think they can own me and ruin me and I can't help but ask why someone like you, an actual swear-to-God 'white knight', would want that? How can you look at me and not see this," Danny looked over his body, a hand grasping into his own shirt, "this.. layer of filth that gets in the way?"

"What you see and what I see are clearly very different," Steve closed the distance between them and put his hands on Danny's arms. "Where you see filth, I see… strength and warmth and… and light. I see something that my eyes are drawn to no matter where you are or how far away and none of that to me is filth or anything that you should be ashamed about. What they did to you is on _**them**_ , it's about _**their**_ sick morals, it's not a reflection on you."

"But how you see me is not how I see myself right now. Can you understand that? It's going to take some time for me to reconcile."

"And I'm going to help. And we can start with this…" Steve's eyes lit up with an idea and he took Danny by the hand and led him into the bathroom. It was a reasonable size for a hotel room, but still small with only the essentials and lit very white. 

Steve made Danny stand in the middle of the room and turned on the shower. He let Danny lean on the sink while he slowly undid the buttons on Danny's shirt, exposing the bruising and running gentle hands over his warm skin as he pushed the material from Danny's shoulders and pulled the shirt from his arms. He then stood close as he popped the button and lowered the fly on Danny's pants and pushed those down along with his underwear, always keeping his eyes on Danny for any discomfort but Danny only felt curious. Curious and safe.

He crouched to help Danny take the bunching material from his feet and then stood, stretching as he took off his own clothes around the rising steam of the room as the water in the shower heated. 

He led Danny into the shower, letting the hot water beat down between them. 

"What are you doing?" Danny asked over the noise of the spray. 

"If you really think that you're covered in filth, then I'm going to wash it off for you," Steve said as he grabbed the hotel unbranded shower gel and rubbed it between his hands to get the lather going before massaging it into Danny's shoulders and down his chest. His touch was light and comfortable and Danny felt compelled to watch as Steve's hands ghosted over and around Danny's arms and over to his back. He turned to allow Steve to run the lather down his spine and he only flinched a little bit when he touched against Danny's ass cheeks. 

Steve's head on Danny's shoulder turned into his neck and kissed at his hairline before speaking softly in his ear heard just enough above the sound of the running water. 

"I'll be gentle, it's okay." 

Danny trusted that Steve wouldn't do anything he wasn't ready for, but the reassurance was welcome as one hand slid between his cheeks and over his hole to his balls, down, up and down again before Steve was happy with his ministrations. 

He went to his knees, eyes on a level with Danny's abused backside and he kissed at the small of his back before washing down Danny's legs, then turned him and worked from his feet back up, delicately handling his soft cock and balls, round and over his thighs and up over his hips. 

He kept hold there and stood, looking into Danny's eyes for a verdict. 

Danny swallowed. "Usually I wash harder than that," he said, being honest. He was used to scrubbing until he was red raw and still not feeling clean. Needing to do it multiple times until he was more assured that the touch of his assailants, that the cum and the spit and the dirt was no longer on him or in him. It always took months to feel comfortable in his own skin. Hell, he was only just getting to that point after Reyes, and now he felt like he was at square one again. 

"You don't need to," Steve told him. "There's nothing there. And my touch, _your fiancé's touch_ , has overridden anything that was."

"You still want to marry me?" Danny asked as he looked up at Steve's blinking eyes, water beading in his eyelashes and falling down from his hairline to drip off the end of his nose. 

"Nothing could ever stop me wanting that," he answered and Danny melted against him, holding on for dear life, their wet bodies pressed impossibly close. Steve's hands were smoothing back Danny's wet hair from where the direction of the water seemed determined to push the strands over his forehead.

Steve's hand fumbled for the dial and pushed against it to turn the water off. He opened the door while Danny kept his head tucked into his shoulder and the soft breeze of the cooler air rushing in made him shiver, but moments later Steve wrapped them both in a fluffy towel and shut out the world for longer. 

They stayed holding onto each other as they dried, Steve trying to help Danny with his hair but one thing that remained no matter what, was Danny needing to sort that out for himself the way he liked it, even if it was going to remain damp and unstyled for longer. 

Naked, they walked back into the main room, Steve drew the curtains and they both climbed into the bed under the tightly cornered sheets and cocooned themselves amongst the covers and pillows and in each others' arms. 

It was strange to be lying in a hotel room and not to be at the house like he'd been expecting, planning, for once everything was back to normal. It highlighted the fact that they weren't back to normal yet and that repairs needed to be made, literally and figuratively. He was reminded of other times in hotel rooms, mostly the bad kind from this Op, the last one, hell, all of them, even the ones that had gone to plan. It reminded him of his divorce and how he'd stayed in that crappy motel for the sole reason that it was closest to his old house and his baby girl. But when he thought of the 'better' hotels, he was reminded of family vacations, couples weekend retreats, all those good times with people he cared about. 

"I want to go home," he sighed out loud, his brain firing out the thought before he could process it, but as he caught up with himself he knew he meant it. It was time, really, to go home for a while.

"I'll get the place cleaned up as soon as I can, but it'll take a couple of days at least."

"No," Danny leaned up on an elbow to look down at Steve. "I mean I want to go home. To New Jersey. I need to see it, I think it'll help. Everything around here… the house, the streets, the goddamn beach it all… I dunno, it doesn't feel right at the moment."

"Okay, well, in the morning, I'll get us a flight."

"Steve," Danny said, fingers stopping the small circles he was tracing on Steve's chest. "I meant just me."

"Oh."

"Reconnecting doesn't exactly happen if you're there," the look of disappointment was clear in Steve's eyes and he needed to explain himself and he needed to work out how. Saying the actual words for why didn't make much sense but… "Did you ever see the film 'Somewhere in Time'? It's like a tearjerker chick flick, my mom loved it. Anyway, the lead guy, he travels through time and then when he finds a penny in his pocket from the future it immediately draws him back there. It's the reminder, you see, the idea that you try to escape something but one small reminder takes you back there."

"And in this scenario… I'm your penny?"

"I think so yeah," Danny said, trying not to hurt Steve's feelings. He knew damn well that he needed Steve like he needed to breathe but that was why he needed to do this without him. "Besides, as much as I'm on medical leave right now, you're not. You still need to run Five-0, you need to make sure the Marshals don't backtrack on anything, you need to make sure everything with Delano is truly finished and you need to make sure punching the Governor doesn't have any longer term consequences for us all. You can't do that from Newark."

"I don't like you being on your own after everything."

"I won't be," Danny tucked his head back onto Steve's chest. "I'll be with family. And I'm not stupid, I know you'll be tracking my phone the entire time."

*

"Okay, monkey, but I have to go because the car's just arriving and you know your gran needs to be the focus of all the attention around here," Danny smiled down the phone as he fumbled in his pocket for cash to pay the cab driver. "Danno loves you. Okay, I'll see you soon."

He hung up and climbed out the car, the driver helped get his bag out of the trunk and he thanked him before he drove off. He looked up at the house he grew up in and there was a feeling of home and family and the safety of being there that immediately washed over him at the sight. 

Sure, he missed Grace and Steve but not so much the Hawaii part. Not yet. Well, so long as the weather held. He wasn't going to admit it out loud, but he was finding the chill in the air unbearable and there were people walking around the city in just t-shirts.

The flights had been long, his layover in Los Angeles was bearable with calls to Grace and to Steve to make sure the Island was still in one piece. Rachel had offered to let him bring Grace, but he wasn't sure how long he'd be in Newark and he felt wrong taking her out of school and away from her friends for so long. But he knew he'd be able to talk to her whenever he wanted, no questions asked. Grace had always been one of his tickets back to normal. Grace and home. He needed both, it was just that finding 'home' right now was the hard part.

The blinds flicked apart in the front window and before Danny could make it up the path, the front door was flung open and hurricane Clara Williams was there with arms open and pulling him in. "Daniel, honey, I'm so glad you're here," she squeezed him before letting go enough to usher him inside. "Your sisters wanted to be here to welcome you but it's late and they've got work in the morning. Stella threatened to send round Eric, I told her he could wait, we don't need him and his attitude right now."

"What's he done this time, Ma?"

"Nothing, it's okay," she took the bag from his hands and dumped it in the hallway before leading him into the living room to sit. 

"Just tell me, Ma. I'm going to find out soon enough right?"

"Okay, well, he may have decided to re-enact that stupid video game with a few friends."

"What game?"

She cleared her throat. "Grand Theft Auto."

"Ma!" Danny groaned and put his head in his hands. What the hell possessed him to come back here. He'd been home less than five minutes and he'd already walked into a drama. "What did Stella do to fix this?"

"Nothing," Clara crossed her legs and grabbed for a glass of water that was on the coffee table. At least, he thought it was water rather than gin, but at this time of day and considering his mother, it was hard to tell. "She heard you were coming home and decided to wait on you to fix it for her. Typical Stella, wanting her brother to fix her messes. I told her, I said-"

"Ma!" Danny cut her off. "I'll take care of it," he lifted from his seat and stretched his back out. 

"What are you doing?" She asked, concerned. 

"I'm going to take my stuff up to my room, and then I'll make some calls and get the kid a decent deal out of this, okay?"

"Well, okay, but you should get some rest after your flight," she said behind him as he stomped up the stairs. 

"I'd love to but it's difficult considering the family I have…" he mumble to himself. 

"It's late, do you want me to keep you some dinner?" she called up after him. "Danny?!"

"NO, MA, I'LL HAVE SOMETHING IN THE MORNING!" he yelled back, feeling very much like the petulant teenager he hadn't been in twenty years.

*

"My nephew is more of a delinquent that I thought, but I was able to make sure he didn't start an illustrious career behind bars. At least, not yet, anyway. I better not live to regret doing him and my sister this favor."

"If anyone can scare a teenager straight, it's you, Danno," Steve told him down the phone. 

It was late. The house was in darkness, as was Danny's room, now only lit by the glow from his phone. With the time difference it was impossible for him to get any decent sleep, so while Steve stayed late at the office sorting out who to call to make repairs to the house and get online quotes, Danny was talking to him to keep him company. 

"It's his father's fault. I never liked the asshole, but I'm not allowed to tell Stella 'I told you so' because mom thinks the minute I do she'll have a breakdown. I told Ma, that guy was a bum but people have it a lot worse than Stella does, but hey, what do I know, right?" There was a mixture of joking, a hint of sarcasm and a tension of truth in Danny's statement. He didn't like alluding to it, but he couldn't help it. Stella's problems were a walk in the park compared to his own. Everybody knew it, no one would admit it out loud.

"Sounds like you're being driven up the wall. Ready to come back to me yet?" Steve asked, his words laden with just as much meaning.

"In a strange way, dealing with my family's crap is helping. I mean, it's a distraction, I guess but also it's… calming. That sounds insane, doesn't it."

"No, not at all," Steve answered. "It was a strange day when I realized my life wasn't as good without you ranting in the passenger seat beside me all the time. I thought you were unique, then I found out you were just the least crazy of your whole family."

"Hey, come on, now. They're not all crazy," Danny defended. When he was met by silence he nodded his head. "Okay, so they're all crazy. Imagine having to grow up with them. You should be feeling sorry for me."

"I would feel sorry for you but then I remember that I have my own crazy sibling and then I just commiserate."

"There is that."

"So what's your mother got planned for you tomorrow?"

"Well," Danny lay on the bed and stared at the dark ceiling. "She's got a hair appointment, I'm expected to stay and show the girls every photograph I have of Grace and of you for them to fawn over and for Ma to be all smug and proud about. Apparently, she's told them all about the fact that I was engaged to a Navy SEAL. They have no idea how truly terrible that is, I'll set them straight."

"Hey!" Steve interjected, but Danny continued. 

"Then in the afternoon I'm to go to the firehouse and see dad, and he's going to go with me to my old precinct to say hi, like I can't be left alone for a second and need an escort, and then it's family dinner at night."

"Sounds exhausting."

"That's my family. You still sure you want to marry in?" Danny's heart ratcheted up again. 

"Positive," Steve said and Danny could hear his smile. "You sound good, Danny. Going home, it's helping."

"Yeah, I think it is," Danny agreed.

"I guess there's some things I can't be the one to fix," Steve sounded wistful, sad. Danny wasn't sure how to respond. 

"Steve-"

"No, ignore me, I'm being an asshole. I know you've been through hell, I've got no right to feel jilted."

"Jilted?" Danny asked defensively and the line went quiet again. He could imagine Steve leaning on his hands on the desk, rubbing at his tired face. 

"Danny did you hear what you said a few minutes ago? You said 'was' when talking about being engaged to me. Past tense, like we're not anymore. I know you think of me like a bad penny right now but-"

"Whoa, hold on, the penny thing was-"

"No, I know, Danny, I'm just saying I can read between the lines and I know you've been too scared to say it to me. Too worried about how I might take it or whatever. If you don't want to marry me anymore, just tell me."

"I- Steve-"

"Okay, then how about you tell me that you _**do**_ want to get married?" 

Danny bit his lip, controlled his emotions, but it took agonizingly long moments to do so. "How did we get onto this conversation?" he asked.

"I guess that's my answer," Steve said. "Danny, I love you and I'm here for you. I know you've been hurt, I know that with Delano raping you you've got some things to work out and I promise you I won't push."

"But what, huh? Because there's got to be a 'but' in there somewhere. But you won't wait forever, is that it? Because I've told you before, I warned you about what might happen, about where my head would be at and you've always said I was wrong to worry, please don't prove me right."

"Danny, I am _**always**_ here for you, in every way that I can be, I promise you that. I'd just… I'd like to know where I stand. Even just a hint."

"Where you stand? You ask me that not 48 hours after all the shit that went down? You want to maybe give me five minutes to catch my breath?"

"No, Danny, I'm asking you after three months of you catching your breath after Reyes. You said yes, and you acknowledge that we're engaged but you've never wanted to plan a wedding, never committed to a date for it, or a location, or wanted to go get our rings. I'm not ignoring what you've been through recently, but it's like you're using it as an excuse to put the wedding further onto the back burner. And with you running back to New Jersey with no return date and me left behind, I don't know what to think."

"Well, if you need to think so badly, how about I give you some time to do that," Danny answered tersely and hung up the phone, jabbing his finger at the button three times before he was happy the call had ended. When it vibrated again in his hand and Steve's smiling face appeared, he hit ignore. 

He did it two more times before the phone stopped ringing. 

He turned over onto his side, phone still clutched to his chest when the 'ping' for a message arrived but he ignored that, too. 

It was dark out, it was late, everyone else was in bed and asleep, he needed to do everything he could to get some rest, too. Steve should understand that and stop trying to get in touch with him. He sighed as he placed the phone under the pillow to ignore any beeps it might make and settled in, closing his eyes.


	5. Chapter 5

He was blaming the jet lag, but truly, it was more the avoidance of nightmares and worry about Steve that had still kept Danny from doing much more than dozing through the night. He could have pleaded for some alone time, but by mid-morning the smell of coffee and the shouted up promise of chocolate chip pancakes his dad was making lured him down regardless. 

In a pair of old sleep pants and a t-shirt, he shuffled down the stairs to the kitchen, a yawn on his lips and his hair sticking up in odd places. He slid into a chair at the breakfast bar and waited until a plate with a smiling face on a pancake was shoved under his nose. 

He looked up into his dad's eyes, manfully ignoring the cliched female-body-in-bikini apron. "Thanks," he said before digging his fork in.

"Steve called."

"Did he?"

"No idea why he'd call us rather than you, unless…" his dad fished for information.

"I forgot to put my phone on charge," Danny deflected with a white lie. 

"Used up the battery talking with him half the night, huh?"

"Something like that."

"Your mom already left for her appointment. I convinced her to let you get a little extra sleep. Not that it looks like it did you any good. You've got two hours and then it's off to the Fire Station, though. I already told the guys you were coming by and you know better than to disappoint firefighters."

"You told them all I was coming by?"

"Yes," his dad told him. "Chad will be there."

"Wonderful," Danny scratched at his face as he finished his breakfast and shoved the plate aside. "That's not going to be awkward at all."

"He said he's looking forward to seeing you," his dad told him from the foot of the stairs as Danny began to make his way back up to get dressed. 

"I'm sure he is."

*

The guys were the same as Danny remembered. Mostly. There was one more name hanging on the memorial wall; that of a good man he'd known before leaving for Hawaii and he made sure to pay his respects and stand to remember that things could be worse for him and for his family.

He was just turning to go back into the main rec area when he stopped at the sight of a man he knew well standing leaning against the doorframe of the gym room, towel around his neck, clearly finished up but still in need of a shower. He looked good. He looked very good, he always had. The kind of man women would traditionally swoon at with his rock hard abs, chiseled jaw and floppy brown hair that had a slight curl to it to match his smile.

"It's good to see you, Danny," he said. 

"You too, Chad," Danny answered, not venturing closer. Not yet. 

Chad was someone he'd known pretty much all of his life. Two years older than him, he lived around the corner and since both their fathers were firefighters, they saw a decent amount of each other. But since Chad was older, he'd had no time for the younger, shorter, keen to impress, full of energy kid that Danny had been. It wasn't until they were older that they'd become friends of a sort - Chad following in his father's footsteps, and Danny going to the Police Academy. 

Then things changed one night after a firehouse Christmas party. Danny got the phone call saying he was needed to get his dad home safely. Eddie had passed out drunk in the back of Danny's Taurus, and since Chad was going back to his parent's place for the holiday, Danny had volunteered to take his drunk ass home too. 

Maybe it had been a mistake, maybe it hadn't been, but a drunk Chad was flirtatious, and open, and before Danny knew it there was a hand on his thigh and another grabbing behind his neck and their lips had collided in a whiskey tasting kiss that he'd initially given into because, well, even drunk, Chad was charming and hot. 

In another situation, Danny would have been quite happy to go for it and continue but by then he was already married to Rachel, so it didn't matter how much Chad told him he knew Danny had always had a crush on him, he wasn't going to cheat on his wife.

That night Danny had barely slept, Eddie had been left in the back of his car snoring loudly, banished from the house until he sobered up and Danny could only hope that Chad was drunk enough to not remember the incident.

The thing was, Danny had never worked out if he did or didn't. Chad hadn't mentioned it overtly, but there were comments sometimes when they were together with the guys that made him wonder, and he would eye Danny in such a way… it just made Danny feel awkward; hot under the collar, unsure how to take the compliments. He'd spent less time with the man after that for no other reason than just not knowing what he was thinking, and then the shit had hit the fan anyway and he'd headed into the land of divorce, custody hearings and the move across the country. 

"Your dad didn't say much except that you got into some trouble on an Op and were coming home to recuperate. Whatever it was, I promise I won't say 'I told you so'."

"Maybe you should. Maybe you were always right about my moving into Vice from Narcotics. What was it you told me?"

"That you were too pretty for Vice," Chad smiled. 

"No, that wasn't it."

"I said your bleeding heart would land you in trouble. Did it?"

"Something like that," Danny admitted. 

Chad came into the empty corridor and moved closer to Danny. "You want to talk about it?"

Danny shrugged and stuck out his bottom lip. "I'm not too sure. I've got to talk to my shrink about it at some point. And my fi-" he cut off the last word, cleaning his throat. Not entirely sure what to call Steve anymore. "I'm just not keen on repeating myself," he finished.

Chad reached out a hand to him diverting it midway in its aim for his hand and ending with it on his bicep. "I really hoped-"

"Foods up!" came the yell from the kitchen, breaking any shared moment and Danny backed up immediately.

"Let's eat," he told Chad, who followed him at a more sedate pace. 

He could feel Chad's eyes on him as they ate their late lunch, and there were a few remarks that were Chad's usual style with low-key innuendos aimed directly at Danny. Conversation skewed to Eddie's impending retirement within the next year or so and who wanted the job in his place - along with some gentle ribbing of Danny that his career would have been much better in the firefighters than the police since he was 'just a detective'. 

Somehow, before the end of Danny's visit - one that had been fun and took his mind off all his problems, Chad's presence aside - he'd somehow been roped into going out for drinks that evening with some of the guys his age. Including Chad. He blamed his father, he was pretty sure Eddie had suggested it in the first place. 

By the time they got home, Clara had dinner almost ready, despite the fact that Danny was still full from their large and late lunch at the firehouse. No wonder Eddie was beginning to put on a little more weight. He really only picked at the food, aware of disapproving looks from his mother but he wasn't dodging eating due to his 'trauma'. It was just simply that there was too much of it.

Stella was there and had brought Eric along. The rest of the family were going to come by at the weekend since they all had work to worry about, so at least Danny didn't feel overwhelmed by the presence of a boisterous Williams crowd. It was bad enough translating Eric's idiocy, dealing with Stella and making sure Eric and his jackass father didn't get a chance to run rings around her. That girl was always a doormat until a point, then once she broke and got mad she was a powerhouse that no one wanted to deal with. Eric would do well to remember that.

It was with a sense of relief that Danny ordered a cab to take him to the bar where he was meeting everyone. Clara made sure he had the key to get back in when he got home, along with a warning not to turn into his father and that he knew the rules about coming into the house drunk (which, ever since that first time, was that if you couldn't see straight then you spent the night in the back of one of the cars).

There were hearty back slaps, beer flowing and 5 guys from the firehouse who were now at the end of their rotation and looking forward to a couple of days off. It felt good. It was nice to have a break, and it reminded him of team nights out with Five-0. It was because the firehouse were a family, and took in the extended family of all the guys in the house and treated them with respect and like they were their own. Five-0 had been set up as Ohana, that was always Steve's aim and once Danny was a part of it (dragged in kicking and screaming as he was after that first time they worked together to solve Meka's murder and take down Delano) it was something Danny had understood well. He'd always likened it to how firehouses saw themselves and was never alien to him despite his haole status. HPD may never have given him the benefit of the doubt over things like that, but Five-0 did. 

Some of the guys had eyed the vacant pool table and were now making fools of themselves while drunkenly trying to get the balls into the pockets and simultaneously impress passing pretty girls with talent they didn't possess. It was entertainment in itself just to watch and Danny had been doing so, conveniently forgetting his worries again when Tommy patted his back.

"So what is it this guy of yours does again?"

"Navy SEAL," Danny answered, a hint of pride behind it. 

"I don't get it, man," Tommy began with a shake of his head and Danny tensed in case he said anything homophobic, but he was relieved as the other man continued. "A Navy SEAL? Those guys are pussies, they've got nothing on the Rangers," he told Danny, leaning close enough that Danny could smell the alcohol on his breath. Tommy had been in the Army and after his tour had settled into civilian life by becoming a firefighter. 

"I don't think you should say that in front of him. He's pretty convinced nothing can beat the SEALs," Danny smiled. 

"So where is he?" Chad asked from across the table, tongue lingering on the top of his beer bottle.

"He had to work," Danny answered. "I'll get the next round in after I go the men's room," he said, trying to get away from talking about this stuff. He didn't like the insinuation that Steve didn't care enough to come with him, bristling at the subject. He and Steve may have argued the last time they spoke and Danny was having doubts about the relationship, but he loved Steve. That hadn't changed in the last few days and he knew it never would. His doubts were more to do with how the relationship could survive Danny's abuse at the hands of too many people.

He was finishing up, just drying his hands when Chad appeared. He looked at the other man through the mirror. "You been sent to chase me up?" he asked as he turned around, meaning about the money for the beers. 

"Chasing something," Chad cocked an eyebrow as he approached Danny. He stopped short of him; close but not touching. Invading Danny's personal space but doing so in a way that anyone looking wouldn't notice. "You're dodging anything to do with this guy of yours or whatever it is that happened to bring you home. There a reason for that?"

"Healing takes time, that's what they say, right? Maybe I'm still healing," Danny responded. He may not look it, though there were still various bruises on show, but the majority of his aches and pains were hidden. He felt them ever present but they were dull enough to ignore the majority of the time. It was just in certain situations that he truly felt them, or gave himself sympathy pains when memories resurfaced. His statement was perfectly true - he was still healing.

"But you came home, Danny. Alone. I know you've had a tough time recently, I get it, I do. I'm just thinking maybe there's more to you coming back here than what you're admitting to."

"Like what?" Danny scoffed.

Then there was a hand on his hip. He looked down but Chad's fingers raised his chin again and then there were lips and they were close. So close they were touching Danny's own and there was a tongue and whoa…

He pushed Chad away. "What the hell, man?!"

"Growing up all you ever wanted was my attention, D. Now you've got it and you push me away again?" Chad wiped his lips. And Danny knew for certain now that he was well aware of the time he'd kissed Danny before. 

"I'm with someone! And I was back then, too! You never said anything when I was getting a divorce but while I was married you were up for it. Now I'm engaged and what? You try again? Do you have some kind of fetish for breaking up couples?!"

"Hey now, you ignored me after all that stuff with your ex-wife, not the other way around," Chad admonished him but he had no ground to win back - Danny wasn't giving an inch. Chad wasn't a bad guy but he had awful timing, was more upfront with things when he was drinking and always had that jock personality where he thought he could get away with all manner of things because he was so good looking. That didn't fly with Danny and never had - crush or not.

Danny continued, his bluster rising in the echo of the porcelain around them. "And I came back home because I'd been _**raped**_! I've had drug smugglers and pimps slobbering over me for the last few months, kidnapping me, taking me to foreign countries and using me in the most disgusting ways imaginable and you think it's appropriate to try feeling me up in a men's room when my ass is still fucking raw?" He turned around and pointed at it. "Is this what you want? The tail you're chasing? With no regard as to how I might feel? Whether 'no' really means 'yes'? Want to come in it, huh?" He sneered.

Chad took a step back and put a hand up, a horrified look on his face. "Wait, Danny- Raped? You never said, I mean, I never would have. Oh shit."

Danny breathed deeply, truly aware of how his own face must have mirrored the horror on Chad's as he realized what he'd been saying out loud. Jesus, fuck, now was not a time for a breakdown. For a start, Steve wasn't there to shore him up. 

He recognized that his breathing was speeding up.

Shit.

He shook his hands out. Steve wasn't here. Steve knew what to do when Danny had panic attacks.

Shit. Shitshitshit.

"I need some air," Danny said and pushed away from Chad and rushed to the front of the bar. Once outside in the cool night air he kept going, walking down the sidewalk at a brisk pace, fumbling for the phone in his pocket. What time was it in Hawaii? Actually, he didn't care, he was making the phone call anyway.

It rang for only a short amount of time. "Danny? You okay?"

"No. No I'm not," he told Steve. "I think I need to come home. I think I need to fly out tonight, or in the morning, I don't know."

"Wait, hold on, take a breath. What happened?" Steve's voice sounded tinny over the speakers and it paled in comparison to having him there, to breathe him in, to hold onto.

"Nothing, no it's… it doesn't matter, I just. I miss you, and I'm sorry, and I just- I can't- they're driving me- _insane_..."

"Danny. Breathe. Listen to my-… okay, I'm not there so I'm just going to count out loud and you're going to match your breathing to it okay?" Steve said. Danny nodded, then answered his yes out loud and after a long minute he had himself under control again with Steve's help. "Danny?" Steve asked as the line went quieter again.

"Yeah, I'm good. Thanks," he answered, wiping a hand down his face in relief."I should catch a cab or something."

"Hold on, wait a moment. Where are you, baby?"

"I went out with some of the guys from the firehouse, we were at a bar, I'm outside it now."

"Specifics, Danny. Where are you?" Steve asked, and Danny sighed. Steve was probably going to move satellites to see him to make sure he was okay, or send some kind of Navy support unit to pick him up. It sounds insane but with Steve, you could never be so sure.

"We were at the Chimney Stack, it's a bar opposite my dad's firehouse. When I came out I turned east and just started walking. I dunno, I think I'm about two blocks down from it."

"Do me a favor, okay? Just stay put. Don't move. I'll be right there."

"You'll…. Steve, how about we start with the fact that flights from Honolulu take at least 10 hours to get here, how do you expect to be-"

"I said stay put, okay? I need to hang up but call me back if you need to," Steve told him, protective instincts ramped up but Danny just agreed and slipped his phone back into his pocket.

He hung by a nearby bus stop, leaning on the pole for a while before taking a seat after a bus picked up the people sitting there. When a dark colored Ford Mustang pulled up beside him, parking haphazardly, he got back to his feet. Steve jumped out, bounding around the front of the car and immediately hugging a stunned Danny into him. 

The remaining tension in Danny's body bled out as he melted against Steve, feeling their bodies swaying slightly in left over momentum. Steve's lips pressed to the side of Danny's head, one hand tangled in the back of his hair while the other held midway up his back.

"What are you doing here?" Danny asked, slightly in awe at having Steve appear in New Jersey.

"After our last talk I got organized and flew straight out."

Danny pulled back and frowned up at him. "That's fast for commercial…"

Steve grimaced. "Hopped a cargo plane to Washington D.C and then drove up from there. I was just getting my stuff into a hotel room when you called."

"So that's why you smell so bad?" Danny asked, a laugh on his lips as Steve turned his nose to a pit and gave an experimental sniff. "I don't mind. I really don't mind. Come here," Danny pulled Steve in again for another tight hug. "I can't believe you flew out here."

"I should never have let you come out alone in the first place. Besides, Chin and Kono were happy for the days off. The Island can cope without Five-0 for a little bit."

"But the Governor-"

"Figures he owes us one. He heard about your little stunt at the Marshals offices and would prefer that such a display not happen in his own halls. He's happy that we're both out of Hawaii for a little bit." Danny reached a hand up to Steve's face and stroked his fingers down the man's cheeks. Still surprised to see him. "You wanna go home? Your mom and dad are worried."

"You phoned them didn't you, after you hung up with me."

"I had to, just in case. Someone already told them you'd stormed out of the bar."

"Figures. Firehouses are more gossip-fuelled than a hairdressers, I swear to God." Danny groaned. "Man, I don't want to go back there right now. Both of them have completely ignored the fact that anything might be wrong and just keep trying to feed me and get me to socialize like everything else will just go away on its own. And I don't want to get in the door and have my mother start asking me questions about it all…"

"It's fine. Look, I got a room at a hotel near the airport. Wasn't sure you'd actually want to talk to me, so I didn't want to impose on your family. We can go back there."

Danny spent the first five minutes of the drive exploring the interior of the Mustang. Steve admitted he preferred the Camaro, but that was mostly because the man was a creature of habit, and commandeering Danny's car was certainly a habit. Danny figured it just wasn't so much fun for him when it was a car he'd rented with his own money. 

He made a point of finding a local radio station he used to listen to, knowing the Jersey sensibility would irk Steve, and he was pleased to discover them in the middle of playing 'It's My Life' by Bon Jovi. Perhaps a little more mainstream, but it was still Bon Jovi and a classic and Steve was just going to have to listen to it. 

The room was decent. It was functional, like a lot of hotels near airports were, catering for a simple overnight stay before a flight. The bed looked comfortable and the window overlooked the end of a runway. Hopefully the sound proofing worked. 

Steve had brought nothing more than a duffel bag and it was still lying on the end of the bed. He'd been right when he'd told Danny he'd just arrived at the room before getting his call and dashing back out the door again to go get him. 

"Last time, us being in a hotel room together wasn't really a good thing," Danny said, turning back to where Steve was. 

"I doubt the same thing's going to happen again. Besides, no wooden chairs in here," he joked, lightly. Danny turned to face the window and watch another plane take off through the sheer white inner curtain of the window. Steve's hands trailed down his arms and he lightly pressed his lips to the back of Danny's neck. "You want to tell me what _did_ happen?"

"It's not a big deal."

"I'm thinking it was. It made you want to instantly hop a flight back to Honolulu."

Danny turned again, dislodging Steve's hands from him again. "Let's just call it a moment of clarity."

"About what?"

"About the fact that I love you, and that no matter what anyone else says or does, it won't change that fact."

Steve shifted his stance and his eyebrows knit together unhappily. "What did someone say or do?"

"It's not-"

"A big deal, you said that already. And I'm clearly going to have to repeat myself, too. If it made you want to get out of New Jersey, it's a big fucking deal."

Danny was going to protest, but then let out a long sigh. "Look, so, one of the guys at the firehouse, I've known him a long time. Since we were kids. And when I was married to Rachel he got drunk and made a move on me, then spent all the time since never saying anything about it, practically ignoring it."

"Until…?" Steve led the conversation on, voice dropping almost a whole octave.

"Until tonight. He kissed me again."

Steve looked angrily at Danny and spun on his heel. He stooped by the bed to grab his jacket, giving Danny enough time to get in front of him and block his way to the door. 

"Hold up, wait a second, what are you doing?" He held a hand out to block Steve.

"I'm going to have a word with him."

"Chad and I already had words, okay? He knows he was out of line."

"So that's his name? Chad?" Steve spat the word out, jealousy reigning supreme, the name distasteful to him. "That'll help me find him."

Danny blocked him again, shoving him back into the room as he tried to get past Danny. 

"Come on, Steve, there's no reason for you to be like this. No reason to get jealous, I'm right here. All it made me want is you, so come on, leave it be."

"I'm not jealous, I'm…" Steve threw his jacket back onto the bed. "Okay, fine, I'm jealous, but that's not the point."

"Are you seriously going to stand there and tell me that racing back out of here to go defend my honor isn't some Rambo bullshit over the fact that I'm your guy? Come on, what's the matter with you, huh?" Danny knew his voice was rising and he hoped the neighboring rooms weren't so privy to the soap opera drama playing out next to them. 

"I'm-I'm not jealous. Don't look at me like that, I'm not. Not like you think. I know you wouldn't cheat on me, okay? And I know this Chad guy isn't going to be able to steal you away from me."

"So what is it? The fact that he tried?"

"No, it's because I wasn't here," Steve said, upset spilling over into his eyes as they teared up. "You were here and in a position to let someone else get close to you, you know? I'm jealous because you hopped a flight out of Hawaii without me, that you sought out someone else to talk to that wasn't me. That's my job. Okay? I'm the one who is here for you to take it out on or to lean on or to… crack a chair over. You know?"

"Hey, hey, look at me," Danny reached up and took hold of Steve's face, making sure he had eye contact with him. "I know all of that. I know you want to help."

"Then why didn't you let me?"

"Because maybe I needed to start on my own."

"And how's that working out for you?" Steve asked, his hands now covering Danny's where they still were on his face.

"Let's not talk about that."

"Danny, I know that this guy kissed you, and I know that your family's trying to feed you up or whatever, but how you feel about all of this…? That's really important right now. A kiss made you want to flee the State and fly across the country back to Hawaii. Your mom and dad's very understandable concern for you makes you want to hide out in here with me. These aren't the responses of someone who isn't having problems coping with things and I've been supportive of you coming to terms at your own rate but you can't keep going like this."

Danny turned away again, hugging his arms into himself as he looked back out of the window. The sight of the planes landing in the darkness, their lights slowly coming into view from the distance and landing, other taking off along the long stretch of asphalt.

"I admit it, okay? I've been on the verge of running since everything with Reyes. I didn't because I felt I hadn't solved everything that I could. Cesca was the last one missing that I had personal ties to and then with Delano escaping, I knew I couldn't leave until he surfaced and we caught him. Once that was done, I ran," he shrugged. "I ran from everything. Including you."

"There's no shame in retreating. Regrouping."

"Spoken like a Navy SEAL. One who wouldn't back down even if it cost him his life," Danny almost laughed. It wasn't pity he was hearing from Steve, more like an acknowledgement that Danny had tried his best and wasn't good enough. A pat on the head and a 'there there'.

"I'm not saying it for effect, Danny. If I'd gone through what you had? I doubt I would have survived and not from fighting back against them. Just from not being able to cope with the aftermath. I'm not as strong as you. Not when it counts."

"Bullshit, Steve, you'd survive it just fine."

"Maybe. But only with help. Your help. The kind of help that not only gets me out of jail hours after you'd been raped but that supports me through everything and defends me. Don't act like you don't, people see that from you every day."

"Steve, I'm scared."

"Of what?"

" _I was raped_. By Delano and yes, by Marco and Pedro Reyes. Three different men, Steve. _**Three**_. They all raped me. I don't know how to come back from that to the person I was before. And I'm scared that they aren't the last people to do this to me. That it's… I dunno, my lot in life. Or I deserve it."

"There couldn't be anything further from the truth. You deserve to be happy."

Danny faced Steve, eyes wet as he looked up. "You tell me all the time that we're okay, I know you believe it, but a part of me just won't until I see it. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop, and you realize just how much hard work I am and leave."

"I already know how much hard work you are and I'm still here," he smiled.

"This isn't funny," Danny admonished.

"No, it isn't. And I'm not joking, Danny. Both of us are hard work with all kinds of damage but that's not put either of us off and it's not going to start now. I asked you to marry me for a reason. That reason still stands."

"I thought the marriage was off?" Danny asked. 

"What, because we argued about the wedding? Come on, Danny, every couple does. I'm sure you did with Rachel, it's just how wedding preparations go. It's the stress of it. Doesn't mean I still don't want it to happen."

"We should wait, Steve. I want to know you're really okay with it and… and I want to be okay to enjoy a damned wedding night, you know?"

"There you go," Steve sidled closer. "If you're thinking about wedding nights and us being together in the future, then I know you're going to be okay." He leaned down and kissed Danny lightly on the lips. "All that other stuff, it just takes time. And you can talk to me, you can talk to your shrink again and you're going to be able to put it behind you and move on with your life. I promise."

Danny hugged into Steve. He'd been doing that a lot recently but it seemed that each hug was tighter, warmer, more secure, more enjoyable, more like home. It was one of the few things he could do that made him forget the crap and it was something so simple.

They got ready for bed, but since it was spur of the moment for Danny to even be there, and since Steve had packed light, they just stripped to their underwear and climbed under the covers in a way reminiscent of just a few nights previously when they'd been at the Hilton Hawaiian Village. Now they were in a Marriott at Newark Airport. The difference in location was not lost on Danny and yet a hotel room was a hotel room. 

Being with Steve was making things better. How could Danny have thought that running back to Newark alone had been such a good idea? He burrowed into Steve's side as he slowly drifted to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

Danny stirred, stretching his back and squinting as he opened his eyes to the light of the room. They hadn't closed the curtains and the sun brightly appearing from behind a cloud had shone directly onto his face to wake him. 

"Morning, sunshine," Steve greeted him. 

"What time is it?"

"Almost ten," Steve answered, his arm around Danny and his fingertips tracing lazy circles on his shoulder. 

"Mom's going to be so pissed I haven't called. Why didn't you wake me?"

"I didn't want to. You were up so many times in the night I figured a long, decent stretch of sleep was what you needed. Think you finally got there around 5am."

"Uh-huh," Danny mumbled into Steve's chest as he absently rubbed his itchy nose against Steve's hairy skin to no real avail. "What's your excuse for spending most of the night awake?"

"Jet lag," Steve shrugged. "And being on watch. It's a habit that's difficult to break when I think something's wrong. Keeping watch helps me deal with it."

Danny leaned up, garnering an 'oomph' from Steve as his elbow dug into the taller man's chest. "You think we're still in danger?"

"No," he shook his head. "Just being in a strange place, makes it difficult to let my guard down. And there's still the matter of me wanting to break Chad's nose."

Danny cushioned his head on Steve again. "Well, I'll thank you not to go injuring members of New Jersey's finest first responders."

"If he was out drinking last night it means he's off duty. From what I know of your father's unit they're four on, four off. So if I hit him now, he's got three days to recover."

"Which I guess would be fine if I didn't think a run in with you would put him in traction for months. Do me a favor. Stop thinking about it."

"I can't promise that," Steve took a breath and Danny's head rocked with the movement. 

"Maybe you need a distraction."

"Thought you weren't up for that kind of thing," Steve smiled. 

Danny lifted his head again and took careful seconds to look at Steve directly in his eyes and just make his final decision. It was something he'd been mulling over in the long stretches of the night that he'd been awake. About just how much he did or didn't want it and every time he thought about it, he knew the answer. It wasn't that it was 'now or never' it was just… 'why wait'?

"Let's get married," Danny said. 

Steve smiled, wide and beaming, then it faltered into a hint of confusion. "Well, I thought that was the plan. I already asked you, remember?"

"Actually, you never asked, it was just sort of… decided. And I didn't just mean let's get married, I meant… let's get married _today_."

"To-today? You want to get married today? As in… the today that's _**today**_?"

"Yes," Danny said with conviction. 

"Okay, not that I don't want to, because I really do," Steve pushed up to a sitting position, dislodging Danny from where he was leaning on him and making him sit up more himself. "But isn't this just more of what we discussed last night? You disappearing to Newark, running out on people after a kiss from an idiot… going to the extreme option?"

"Even if it is, it doesn't mean it isn't a good idea. Coming to Newark, setting Chad straight - both of those things were good ideas."

"Okay, but what about wanting to wait. Wanting to be sure. Wanting to enjoy a wedding night properly?"

"I am sure. I had all night to think about it. As for a wedding night? I have some ideas," Danny smirked.

"Okay," Steve said, looking around him checking the time. He had his thinking face on. Not the normal one either, it was the face he pulled when planning. This was on the verge of turning into a military Op. "We need to secure the rings. Suits. A venue. We need witnesses. We need to tell your family. Are they going to be on board with us eloping?"

"We can use them as witnesses which means we're technically not eloping since family will be there. Besides, I just really like the idea of being married here and not on some beach in Honolulu. I've never wanted that."

"Chin and Kono will kill us. And what about Grace? Don't you want to get married with her there?"

"I thought about that and I've got some idea of how to involve her without her being here. And we can have a reception back on the Island so people there can still celebrate with us."

"We're really doing this?"

"We're really doing this," Danny answered and Steve pounced on him, kissing him hard as they fell back to the pillows, arms wrapped around each other, finding it difficult to breathe, kiss and smile all at the same time.

*

"No, Ma, if we just divide things between us all we can have everything done on time," Danny moaned back to Clara as he followed her around the house while she organized laundry. 

"I'm not saying it's not romantic because it is, sweetie," she turned and cupped his chin for a moment, eyes glistening still from when Danny had told her their plans. "And it's great that Steve was somehow able to swing an extra slot at the registrar's before they close tonight but it's still only five hours from now. There's so much to do. Are you sure it has to be today?"

"Yes, Ma, it has to be today. I want it to be. We'll be fine. Steve is out getting his suit, I still have one here that will do. I'm going to organize the rings, dad's sorting the transport…"

"And what about a cake?"

"Do we really need one?"

"Of course. You can't get married and not have a wedding cake."

"Then that can be your job."

"I don't have an outfit."

"You have a million outfits. Pick one."

Clara sighed and put the washing basket down on the table, turning to her son with her hands on her hips. "Fine. Fine, it's your wedding. Your day. I'm happy with it being completely hashed together at the last minute if you are." There was just a hint of disgruntlement in her tone, but Danny smiled and chose to ignore it. 

He kissed her cheek. "Great, thanks Ma. I'm going to get my suit out, make sure it's okay and then go to the jewelers."

"Which one are you going to?" Clara asked from the bottom of the stairs as Danny made his way back up. 

He stopped and turned midway. "I figured I'd be disowned if I didn't go to cousin Marty's place."

"You do know he'll call every member of our family to complain and commiserate that you're getting married and not inviting anyone."

"I know. I'm counting on it. Means I don't have to call everyone myself to tell them that," he quirked his eyebrows at her eye roll and then continued up the stairs.

*

Getting the rings had gone okay. He'd picked simple gold bands for them and they'd done their best to work out the sizing - Danny's was fine since he was there to buy them. For Steve, he had twisted a paperclip around his finger at the hotel in the morning, and Danny just hoped it was still in the correct shape. The fit wouldn't be exact but it would be damned close and they could get the ring adjusted after if need be. 

When he got back home to get changed, he found his mother had bought a cake. She'd been able to get a single tiered 'congratulations' cake from a bake shop that was covered in white icing and she'd purchased two little men to stand on top of it. For a last minute buy it looked pretty decent. 

While his mother took an age to get ready, Danny called the fire station to make sure his father was doing okay on his end. He promised a car would be by to pick Danny and Clara up in an hour. Steve and he would meet them at the registry and Eddie would not allow Danny to see Steve until they were there and ready to say the 'I do's citing tradition no matter if Danny did point out that he and Steve had spent the morning together. And he could only hope Chad didn't drop by the Station on his day off, because Danny wasn't there to hold Steve back.

Danny stared at himself in the mirror. He'd had to rush so much today that the constant aches and pains inside and outside his body hadn't affected him too much. He'd been able to shove them aside while having something to do. The last minute preparations had taken his mind off everything - he was already exhausted, but pleasantly so and, dare he even admit it, a frisson of excitement rang through his body at the thought of being married to Steve by the end of the day. 

He turned his head from side to side, checking his hair. He rolled his shoulders for the fit of the suit which was still very comfortable even if he hadn't worn it in over three years, more even - at least he could say he hadn't put on any weight. Though he'd also lost a lot in the last six months…

He thinned his lips and gave a low hiss as he touched the bruising on his neck. He'd just have to do his best to hide those in any pictures that were taken. As for walking 'up the aisle' as it were with people watching? He could do his best to walk normal.

"What the hell am I doing?" he blurted out loud and blew out another long breath. He searched his pants for his phone and was about to find Steve's number and dial when he stopped himself and shoved the phone back into his pocket. "No, not calling for his help, not calling the whole thing off, not doing anything knee jerk," he told himself. "Everything's going to be fine. You wanted this. You still want it. You're not going to have any kind of panic attack."

At the back of his mind the problem wasn't about whether he wanted to marry Steve or not, it was about how successful their marriage could be. He was clearly colored by his divorce from Rachel, and on top of that, the niggling voice in his head still told him he wasn't worth marrying. That voice grated through his insides. It sounded like all the taunts he'd received from pimps and johns over the years, from Reyes, from Delano. When someone tells you you're a worthless whore enough times, it sticks. Even when your common sense reminds you you were undercover, that it was designed to make you feel small and useless beyond your mouth and your ass but that it wasn't really you - you were playing a role. 

But as much as he did want to be with Steve, was it necessary to do it today? A day when he could still look in the mirror and see the bruises, swelling and scars? When he could still feel the bone deep aches in his body?

"Danny? You ready?" Clara's voice interrupted his thoughts from the bottom of the stairs. "I think our ride is here."

"I'll be right there," he said, noting her impeccable timing that stopped him beginning to wallow in negative thoughts.

At the bottom of the stairs she futzed with his tie, not letting him leave it in its loose knot. 

Danny was too busy complaining about her ministrations and whether or not she was going to get a hanky out to wipe at an invisible smudge on his cheek that he did a double-take at the sight of the car that had arrived for them. 

Not a car. 

He had told his dad to get them _**a car**_. 

"This isn't a car," he said, pointing at the giant firetruck that had pulled up outside their house with a banner across it that read 'Getting married' and was accompanied with the traditional empty food cans. At least they weren't trailing behind the truck but the way they hung from the sides of it, they still clanged together.

The passenger door opened and Eddie yelled over to them. "Come on, get your butts in here, you're making a scene!"

"I'm making a scene? Dad, I said to get a car, what the hell is this?" Danny asked as Clara climbed in next to her husband and left a little space for Danny beside her. 

"This is the best I could get last minute. Only stipulation is that if there's an emergency, I will need to take a detour," he smiled at his son and put the truck in gear. 

Danny lowered his head to his hands and prayed that no fires were started in the next twenty minutes. He was not missing his wedding. 

*

The Registrar was running late, so everyone had to wait a little longer. 

Eddie and Clara sat together, arm in arm. The fire truck was still waiting outside, with the men all relaxed and leaning against it, some of them nodding at passers by like waiting outside with wedding signs on the side of the red engine was the most normal thing in the world. 

Danny held Steve's hand. He looked amazing in his suit. The rental place had come up trumps with the black shapely suit that made Steve's shoulders look perfect and it wasn't lost on Danny how he'd somehow fixated on that one little detail of how good Steve looked in it.

When they were called, Steve squeezed his hand and together they made their way into the small room. Eddie and Clara sat nearby - Clara with a tissue in her hand for when she needed it. 

The day was getting late, the sun was beginning to lower in the distance and the light shone directly into the room, illuminating the whole place in a pale orange glow. It made Steve look even more handsome, it made his smile more stunning and his eyes dance with the happiness he exuded.

"I love you," Danny told him quietly as they faced each other.

The ceremony hadn't even begun. He was slightly jumping the gun but he didn't care. He needed Steve to know that.

"I love you, too," Steve replied and leaned in to kiss Danny's cheek. 

"Shall we begin?" the Registrar asked.

And then everything after that was a bit of a blur. Danny had concentrated on the words, he was sure of it, but they were words that were traditional and that he'd heard before. Not just when he'd married Rachel but in countless movies he'd watched since he was a child. Instead, he remembered being bathed in that low light from the setting sun outside and the warmth it created in the room. The way Steve held his hands, the way his eyes had met Danny's. The way the light seemed to banish the dark thoughts from his mind if only for the duration of the ceremony. 

In the end, all he felt about marrying Steve was how right it was and how much he hoped Steve meant every word he said. Not just the vows, but what he'd been saying to Danny since they met. Unlike his marriage to Rachel, there was no imagined divorce, instead, the setting sun produced a image in his mind of them old and grey on a front porch at sunset, sitting in rocking chairs. A cliche. A classic. But also very welcome. He knew they were doing the right thing.

When they left, rings firmly on their fingers, papers all signed, there was a rowdy whoop from the firefighters, who had changed the sign on the side of the fire truck to read 'Just Married' and Danny could faintly see that it had been written on the reverse of the previous sign.

They were arm in arm, and rice was being thrown at them and Steve leaned down to Danny's ear. "Which one is Chad?" he asked with a growl.

"Let it go," Danny sing-songed and squeezed Steve's bicep. "Besides, he's not here."

"Eddie! Captain Williams!" A younger probie ran up to them. "There's been a call."

"I have to go," Eddie reluctantly said and turned to Danny. "Well done, son. Don't mess this one up."

"Go put out the fire, dad, we're good."

Moments later the firetruck was leaving. A 'Just married' sign with silver cans attached was in Steve's hand and the three of them were working out what would happen next.

"How are we going to get home?" Clara asked.

"We'll catch a cab, it's okay, mom," Danny said, letting go of Steve's hand long enough to stick it out to flag down a yellow cab about to go past. He ushered his mother towards it but she stopped half way in.

"Hold on, wait. You boys are coming to the house, too."

"Ma, I think we'd rather go back to the hotel," Danny said.

"But what about the cake?" Clara pouted.

"It'll keep until tomorrow. Come on, Ma. We just got married, we'd like to be alone."

"If your mom wants to spend some more time with you first," Steve put in trying to be diplomatic but Danny gave him the evil eye. 

"We're going to the hotel, where we will call Grace and then have some dinner."

"Whatever you want, baby," Steve told him and Clara raised a hand, all of them aware that the cabbie was getting restless in the front. 

"You boys are coming round first thing. The rest of the family will be there, we'll do it like a reception and properly. Well, as properly as we can last minute."

"Sounds good, Ma. Say thanks to dad for me when he gets home," he kissed her cheek and shut the door of the car, allowing it to speed off. 

*

Steve dumped the banner and cans on the floor when they got back to the room. "I don't care what you say, when we get home, I'm carrying you over the threshold."

"Why don't I get to carry you over it? Why does only one of us get that crappy tradition?"

"If it's such a crappy tradition, why does it bother you who gets to be which role?" Steve's eyebrow rose and Danny waved him off as he emptied his pockets. "Fine, how about you carry me over the threshold at your parents place tomorrow, and we do turn about back in Hawaii."

"I guess it's a compromise," Danny agreed, fingers fumbling with his phone to find how to Skype his daughter. "You ready to talk to Grace now?"

"Sure, we can eat after. I'm sure she'll want to see you while you're still in your suit looking all kinds of handsome."

"Hey, monkey!" Danny steadied the phone against the wall at the back of the desk and pulled up a chair with Steve following suit. "I'm sorry you missed it, but everything went really well."

"You guys really did it? I have a step-Steve now?" Her voice rose in excitement. 

"You sure do!" Steve told her and lifted both his hand and Danny's so she could see the rings on their fingers. 

"How did your project go? Did you come up with something?" Danny asked. 

She nodded. "Yup. Mom looked over them for me, too."

"Okay, well, I think we're ready to be blessed by the Church of Grace, if the Ordained Minister is ready, I think it's time to renew our vows," Danny nudged Steve's arm.

"Oh, wait, wait," Steve said digging into his pockets. "Can't get married without the jewelry right?"

"You got rings already, Uncle Steve. We agreed you'd sign my vows for you when you got home and frame them for the wall in your study."

"I know we did, but I had some time on my hands today after getting my suit, so your grandpa took me to get us some tokens for this," he said and produced a small ring box from his pocket. Danny hadn't even noticed the bulge there all day, but it was very small. He opened it, presenting the contents to Danny. "We can put them in the frame with the vows."

Danny licked his lips to give himself a moment to think and to not get emotional… or to laugh. The sight of two shiny pennies; tacky souvenir pressed pennies from a tacky local souvenir shop. They'd been stretched and pressed with the Statue of Liberty. 

"Lucky pennies," Steve said, his intentions clear and Danny fully understood even as Grace was unaware of the deeper meaning. 

"You're an idiot," Danny told him with a shake of his head but his eyes clearly told him the gift was perfect.

"Used, stretched, bent out of shape but absolutely beautiful."

"Shut up, right now," Danny told him and leaned in to lightly kiss his lips.

"Hey! We've not got there yet!" Grace yelled at them through the screen. 

"Sorry, monkey," Danny righted himself, fixed his tie and surreptitiously wiped at his eyes as he cleared his throat. "Let's do this."

"Okay, Uncle Steve, do you promise to let Danno drive his car sometimes, help him when he's feeling claustrophobic, and make sure he doesn't get shot?"  
   
"Mostly," Steve answered and Danny shoulder barged him.  
   
"Mostly?"  
   
"But the car-"  
   
"Uncle Steve, you have to promise," Grace warned him. ""It's Danno's car and he likes to drive."

"Did you put her up to including this in our vows?"  
   
"No, she's just very smart and very observant and knows her Danno very well. I think you need to hurry up and promise all those things to me."  
   
"Fine, you can drive the car more," Steve sat back, resigned. "I do."  
   
"And do you promise to love Danno forever, and to take care of him when he's sick or just annoying you?"  
   
"I do," Steve replied again.  
   
"Danno," Grace turned to her father. "Do you promise to cook Steve proper pizzas so he doesn't live on protein shakes, to cut him some slack when he goes into 'SEAL mode' at work, and to go swimming and surfing with him more often?"  
   
"Yeah, Danno," Steve sat forward again, a slightly smug look on his face knowing Danny was going to have to agree to just as silly things as he had. "You're coming swimming with me more, right?"  
   
"I do," Danny answered. "And we'll see just who sticks to these vows the longest," he challenged the other man.  
   
"And do you promise to love Steve forever, and to take care of him when he's sick or annoying you?"  
   
"I do."  
   
"Then I now pronounce you, Step-Steve and Danno. You may now kiss, just don't make it gross," she wrinkled her nose.  
   
They leaned into each other, a light peck on the lips that lasted for long seconds and they parted smiling. When they turned back to the screen it was to see Grace throwing some home made confetti around herself.  
   
"When are you coming home?" she asked. "I miss you."  
   
"I miss you too, monkey. We're going to be here a few more days maybe. Your grandma would disown me if I didn't take the time to see every member of our family, but we'll need to get back because Steve can't slack off from work for much longer."  
   
"We'll be back as soon as Danno is ready," Steve put in as well, a warning hint in his tone.  
   
"Are you going on a honeymoon, or are you on that right now?"  
   
"Well, we haven't really thought about that yet. Maybe we'll do something down the line. But I don't think this counts. Not when I'm seeing so much of grandma and grandpa, not to mention your cousin Eric..." he wrinkled his nose and it make Grace laugh.  
   
They talked for a little bit longer and Grace promised her vows would be ready to be framed when they got home. While Danny finished talking with her, Steve ordered room service for them for dinner. He was still on the phone organizing it when Danny hung up so he reached for the small box with the pennies on it that lay on the table. He lifted them out to inspect them closer again.  
   
He could feel Steve's eyes on him and he turned his head to look at him while the other man continued confirming their order with a bunch of yeses. When he was done he asked Danny a quick, "Everything okay?"  
   
"Yeah," Danny held up the coins again. "This was a nice surprise. Thank you."  
   
Steve came back over to sit next to him. He reached out to touch the pennies alongside Danny, their fingers brushing against each other as they held them. "Only cost me a dollar. I was worried you'd take it the wrong way."  
   
"No," Danny shook his head and then twisted in his seat to be facing Steve more. "In the movie, the penny Christopher Reeve finds that pulls him back to present, it reminds him that he's not supposed to be where he is, _when_ he is. Even though he wants to be there, he shouldn't be. Maybe... maybe I got it slightly wrong. Maybe these pennies that are emblazoned with New Jersey are my reminder that I shouldn't be _**here**_ anymore. Hawaii is home now, with you. Maybe these are sending me home, you know?"  
   
"So when he goes home, what happens?" Steve asked, throwing an arm around Danny's shoulders.  
   
"That doesn't matter," Danny brushed off.  
   
"Now I'm more curious and if you don't tell me, I'll ask your mom."  
   
"Fine," Danny cleared his throat. "Because he can't get back to the past, to the woman he loves, he dies of a broken heart. Don't say anything," Danny continued before Steve could interrupt. "I'm turning the story on its head to fit our situation more positively, okay?"  
   
"That's interesting."  
   
"Why?"  
   
"Don't you usually assume the worst?"  
   
"That's the strange thing about today," Danny mused. "All day I've felt really positive about everything. Not a negative thought in sight. Or they've been beaten into submission the moment they try to rear up."  
   
"That's good to hear," Steve squeezed Danny's shoulder as they propped each other up. Danny turned his head, seeking out Steve's lips for a quick kiss, then again, and again, slightly longer before pulling apart, his hand sitting comfortably on Steve's thigh.  
   
As their dinner arrived, the room service waiter helped bring everything into the room with a quick comment about them being so well dressed. They tipped him and he was on his way again and Danny stripped himself of his suit jacket, pulled the tie from around his neck and rolled his sleeves up. Steve did similar, divesting himself of his jacket and then beginning to strip off more of his clothes. Danny watched in surprise as Steve took everything off until he was just in his underwear.  
   
"What?" Steve said. "It's a rental, I don't want to get stains on it."  
   
"Okay."  
   
"You could take all that off, too. Keep me company in my mostly naked state. There's something appealing about having our wedding day dinner in our underwear."  
   
Danny bent his head to the side and pulled a face. "I don't know..." he said, more unsure about the state of his bruised body than anything else.  
   
Steve came closer and began to pull on Danny's buttons and Danny put up little resistance beyond a groan. "I promise not to ravage you," he smiled at Danny though it hid a guarded worry for Danny's mental well being, considering how little intimate contact he was ready for.  
   
"A little ravaging might be okay," Danny admitted with a small twinkle in his eye.  
   
"Yeah?" Steve asked, double checking as he moved one hand away from where he was undoing Danny's buttons to cup his cheek as he kissed him, their mouths opening to each other, tongues tangling and making quiet slurping sounds as they got more heated. Their bodies swayed and Danny loved the feel of his head tipping back in answer to Steve's height and desire.  
   
His shirt fell from his arms and Steve wrapped himself around Danny, pulling him close, trailing his lips over his jaw.  
   
"Dinner is going to get cold," Danny told him.  
   
Steve pulled back just enough to look at Danny, his hands undoing the button of Danny's pants. The zip lowering was loud to their ears and Steve grinned smugly, watching Danny's eyes and mouth as the pants fell to the ground. He kissed the tip of Danny's nose, lowering his head close until their noses touched and he teased at Danny's mouth with his own. "Now that you're undressed for dinner, let's eat."  
   
Danny gave a soft shake of his head as Steve grabbed his chair and moved it back to the small round table the food had been laid on. They sat opposite each other as they ate. Steaks and beer seemingly a perfect wedding dinner for them.  
   
They sat back, full, not having realized how hungry they were after the adrenaline and excitement fueled day.  Danny lifted his feet, one laying on Steve's lap while the other curled under his own body. Steve's hands automatically began a foot massage that Danny immediately enjoyed. 

"That feels good."

"I'm going to make sure we both feel good for the rest of the night." Steve shifted in his chair, hands still on Danny's foot, he bent Danny's leg and scooted his chair closer. He kissed Danny's knee, down his calf and back up. He pushed Danny's legs just a little wider apart and kissed and licked along the inside of his thigh up to where his underwear ended.

Danny could see that Steve was beginning to shows signs of arousal, but Danny himself still didn't, even if he was enjoying the attention.

Steve let Danny's foot fall back to the ground and reached a hand out to him to stand and together they walked over to the bed. Steve dropped his underwear and climbed on top, motioning for Danny to join him and they wrapped themselves together as Steve turned the TV on.

The volume was low and the events on screen were of some random melodrama that neither had watched before so it easily washed over them as they only half paid attention. The other half was on each other, on hands drifting lazily over skin, of the heat they were sharing, of their breath, of the rise and fall of their chests. Everything was slow and easy and occasionally Steve murmured encouragement and love into his ear. 

Danny felt himself slipping further down the bed, Steve to his side but still above him and his fingertips tickling over his skin, trailing just under the waistband of his boxers but never pressing further, never assuming, and letting Danny dictate more of the pace. 

Danny undulated under Steve's touch as his fingers flicked over his nipples and his nails scratched down the center of his chest. He looked down to see just how turned on Steve was getting but still he couldn't answer him - his own dick slow and his mind still wary of sex and holding him back. His ass still hurt, hell, it still bled when he went to the toilet and the twinges reminded him of what had happened to him. As much as he trusted Steve, as much as he knew that sex with Steve would feel damned good, he just wasn't entirely ready. 

But it was their wedding night and he was determined to get something out of this. He was determined Steve would at the very least. 

"Touch yourself," he said into the quiet room. "Let me see."

Steve slunk down next to Danny who turned on his side, propping his head up on his hand. Danny touched Steve's chest, finding the other man's hand and helping it journey lower. He let go just before Steve reached his dick and trailed back up, watching a shiver go through Steve's body at the sensation. 

Steve began stroking his cock, "You want to watch me come?" he asked.

Danny nodded, biting his own bottom lip before reaching down and doing the same to Steve's, kissing him hard, teeth holding his bottom lip for longer as they separated to breathe. He licked his way back into Steve's mouth as he got more breathless the harder he jacked himself. Danny's tongue traced along Steve's top teeth before dipping further in again for a wet, open mouthed kiss. "I want you to come for me. Tell me what you're thinking."

"Just about you," Steve answered, gripping his other hand into Danny's thigh before lifting it to curl backwards around Danny's head and pull him closer again. He spoke against Danny's mouth. "Thinking about the time I rimmed you out with that flavored lube. I still can't smell strawberries without getting hard for you. Hmmmmm," he moaned as he pulled Danny down into another kiss. "Or the time I fucked you on that water bed and we bounced so hard on it we got dizzy and couldn't stand up again after," he let out a faint giggle. 

Danny remembered both incidents, how much fun they'd been, how good they'd felt. Steve liked to be inventive in bed but even just rubbing off against each other was never dull. It wasn't just sex, it wasn't just about getting off like he'd always felt when he was undercover. With Steve it was about the closeness, about crawling into each others' skin, about seeing the emotions and the need and the want on each others' faces. It was just…. deeper. 

Steve turned to face Danny more, their chests lining up, Steve's hand moving furiously over his own cock but he groaned, stopping for a moment and lifting that hand to Danny's lips. He obliged, opening them up to Steve's invading digits, soaking them in his own spit that trailed out as Steve's fingers moved back down to jerk himself off again. 

Danny licked up and over Steve's chin and over his lips as they breathed in the same air. "You close, babe? You coming for me?"

"Close, come here, come closer," he said, hooking a leg over Danny's and pulling him in, hand fumbling to get the material of Danny's underwear down and out of the way to tangle on his thighs. He tucked his head into Danny's neck and groaned, catching the sound in his throat as he came, spurting over himself and Danny. His chest heaved and his come covered hand clutched into Danny's back as he kept him close. His hand dragged low over Danny's ass, leaving a sticky trail behind as he turned onto his back and breathed deeply. 

He smiled at the ceiling and then over to where Danny continued watching him. 

"You always look pretty with my cum on you," he told Danny then heaved himself back onto his side, hand cupping Danny's face and Danny could smell the cum on his fingers. They both looking down between themselves as Steve's hand drifted lower, the back of his hand, his knuckles, dragging over Danny's chest until it reached his half hard cock. He stroked it gently. "I can help you with this. Let me?" he asked, eyes hopeful and Danny couldn't say no. 

He lay back and Steve followed him, lips zoning in on his neck; kissing, sucking, licking around his ear, teeth pulling at the lobe. He helped Danny out of his underwear and threw it somewhere to the side, all while distracting him with sweet kisses and the press of lips with just the right amount of pressure. 

He was slow as he moved down Danny's body and Danny's hands tangled in Steve's hair, gripping into the short strands. Steve's intent was clear but he took all his time getting there, laying reverent kisses across Danny's chest, not missing a single spot on his way, licking up the remnants of his own drying cum from Danny's body. 

As he reached Danny's cock, he spat on its length and took it in hand, slowly drawing his hand up and down, getting Danny harder. He kept his weight to the side, not wanting to put the pressure on the smaller man, worried how he might react to being held down, to being restricted, and the lack of touch on anything except his cock drew all of Danny's attention to it.

His back undulated in a wave as Steve's mouth enveloped the head of his dick with wet heat and Danny felt the slow build inside him ramping up. "Steve," he breathed out fast. "More."

He hadn't expected to get off tonight, hadn't expected to be able to, to shut off the part of his brain that reminded him of being used, but trust Steve to win out, to know with expert precision where to touch, how to tease. He knew Danny's body better than Danny knew it himself.

Steve abandoned Danny's dick to the tight ring of his fist while his mouth moved south, sucking his balls into his mouth, licking and fondling, slurping and trailing his tongue back up the underside of his cock, giving Danny no warning before taking as much of him into his mouth as possible. Danny's dick twitched as his eyes shut and his jaw slackened at the feel of his hardness reaching the back of Steve's throat. 

Steve choked a little, pulling off and leaving a long trail of spit. Danny's cock glistened with the amount as Steve caught his breath and jerked Danny harder with his hands, twisting and tugging and bringing Danny ever closer the edge. 

"Don't stop, don't stop, babe, just-" he kept saying as he felt everything inside him tighten. All his muscles locked in place and in the next second let go as he flopped back down to the bed, not even knowing he'd risen from it in the first place. He looked down his body to see Steve, mouth open and the head of Danny's cock spurting against it. Steve licked around his lips where the cum had missed his mouth and he sucked against Danny's cock a few more times as he milked the last drops out of him.

Danny could feel the sheen of sweat over him cooling and Steve crawled back up him, collapsing beside him to share warmth. He rolled into Steve and flopped an arm over his belly. Steve's hand sought out Danny's and entwined their fingers. 

"First time we've had sex as a married couple," Steve mused out loud. "First of many," he turned his head to Danny's, a smile dancing on his lips. "Mr Williams-McGarrett."

"Since when did we decide to hyphenate?" Danny asked, knowing this was just another one of those things Steve seemed to assume was a given, just like his initial proposal had been. "The names are staying as they are, babe. Let's not complicate things."

"How are people supposed to know we're married?"

Danny wiggled his finger and lifted a hand so they could both see the way the light glinted off the ring. "This does the trick," he kissed Steve then settled against him with a sigh.

Steve took a deep, thoughtful breath and his fingers continued to play in the hold he had on Danny's hand. "This last week has been… crazy."

"It ended well, but let's not repeat those first few days ever again."

"I know we did the regular vows and then Grace's, but I think I need to make another promise to you."

"What's that?"

"I'm going to take care of you. And you of me. We're a team, the two of us. Partners. No more rogue missions, no more undercover ops. No more living for the job. We live for each other."

"I can get on board with that. We'll get through the last of the crap this week has given us and we'll get through to the other side together."

"I love you, Danno."

"I love you, too."

*


End file.
